Bulimic for over 20 years and it's time to change it

nsabina's picture

My chiropractor had my X rays analyzed today and he said OMG your small intestine looks so unusual, you must be badly constipated. I am not constipated but I knew right there that it's my old friend bulimia showing off. I do not consider myself severe bulimic, once I was even refused to participate in study because I wasn't bindging much enough or something like that. I was ashamed of bulumia most of my life. I went from obese girl at math school to 38 y.o. doing modeling and weighting XX pounds. There were so many times in my life I kept thinking why I am the way I am. Now at 43 I realize I just need to drop it, no matter what caused it. My biggest drive was reading Jane's Fonda book about her bulimia struggle. Ironically at 18 I was of the first girls in Russian doing aerobics at her college and thinking Jane Fonda is a symbol of female bodu beauty and health. Little did I know. But I am glad! Reading her story helped me to understand that bulumia is not about how "unperfect you are" . It is about "how unperfect you are in your own mind". I am 43 y o now. marriage never worked for me. I am the only provider for my 2 kids and my older father. I have 2 mortgages and 2 household bills to pay. I am no longer interested in meeting my solemate and looking slim and sexy enough for him :) I just need to stay healthy... As long as I can

2 comments

Ji Old profile
Ji Old profile's picture
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Joined: 31 Oct 2010
Welcome to the site! It is

Welcome to the site!
It is very brave to take such a decision after years of living with bulimia. You sound like a strong woman, and I am sure you will overcome this problem.
You mentioned that you don't need to be looking good anymore, but the amazing thing is that when one is recovered, they look much much better than while in active bulimia state. The ED just sucks the life out of us. I am sure you will find yourself healthy, happy and beautiful...and most importantly...free!
I did not know that Jana Fonda had bulimia. It could really happen to anyone.
Have a great day!
xx

The ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do!

Pam
Pam's picture
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Joined: 29 Mar 2011
Welcome to the site! There

Welcome to the site! There are lots of people on here to support you. You sound like a very strong women. You can get through this and beat bulimia. Recovery is worth it. I forgot how it feels to feel good without guilt. It's amazing. Good luck on your journey. :)

Paige

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