jazz's blog

attempting to conquer day 3!

jazz's picture

Well I've eaten rather alot already but i am definately going to try my hardest to conquer my first day 3 ever!!!! I have been trying near 3 months and by day 3 i always end caving and pretty much feel i have to start the whole process again.

SO i guess im feeling pretty good. Very happy and much more positive. I am immensly bloated and have cramping pains in my lower abdomen but ill blame this on eating too much. Hoping hoping hoping to hell that my bloat will go in a couple of weeks because it really hinders my progress when i feel like im becoming huge. But i guess this is all dependant on winning the battle! Oh- what a horrid cycle it is!
im almost thinking my teeth look better ( not sure if this actually possible but they seem to look less translucent)
Will win will win will win .
Hope you are all succeeding out there!

48 hours down!!

jazz's picture

Thanks everyone for your encourging comments! Although i feel enourmous and bloated i am ecstatic as i have made it 48 hours b/p free, for the first time in nearly 5 years. Bit frustrating getting up to go to the loo 6 times in the night but i guess its all part of recovering. Can;t help worrying though how my weight will be eating normally. It has definately significantly increased over the last few weeks through my half hearted attempts at recovery. i am happy how i am right now but how much will i gain?! I am a very physical person so it surprises me how much ive gained eating a normal diet. Any thoughts. Maybe i shoudl stop worrying. Im on the road to recovery and im getting healthier. Oh to just remember and believe it.

Made it 24 hours!!

jazz's picture

Made it 24 hours no b/p and feeling very proud,m, and normal!! although very bloated and enormous, but im staying hopeful that this is part of the recovery stage. Eaten quite a lot but it is all healthy so im not panicing and fully hoping this panic feeling over food will dissappear over time. hopefully in a few days i might notice some encouraging physical differences....we'll see...

starting all over again! day 1!

jazz's picture

So ive decided to start right over again. for the last month ive been kidding myself believing that i was recovering but really ive only had 1 or 2 b/p free days. I feel so much happier when i know i havent purged all day but for some reason once im on a mission i just conveniently forget. So i thought i better put into writing that today is officically day 1. Just to make it 3 days would be a huge accomplishment. Step by step. i desperately want to recover but i become possessed and cant stop eating and the off to the bathroom.........

1) i want to be healthy again, not a sickly person
2) i want to stop selfishly damaging myself
3) i want to save my teeth, my organs and in the name of vanity - my skin, teeth, hair
4) i want to be able to have kids and a family
5) I want to be normal
6) i want to give up this food obsession
7) I want to stop spending so much time and money on food

I want to be succesful and recover. With all these wants you would think stopping such a little thing would be easy- but its not! But I will recover, here starts my journey!

Love this site- amazing inspirational people and stories. good luck everyone on the route to recovery.

Back in a few days with my check in !

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