jazz's blog

attempting to conquer day 3!

jazz's picture

Well I've eaten rather alot already but i am definately going to try my hardest to conquer my first day 3 ever!!!! I have been trying near 3 months and by day 3 i always end caving and pretty much feel i have to start the whole process again.

SO i guess im feeling pretty good. Very happy and much more positive. I am immensly bloated and have cramping pains in my lower abdomen but ill blame this on eating too much. Hoping hoping hoping to hell that my bloat will go in a couple of weeks because it really hinders my progress when i feel like im becoming huge. But i guess this is all dependant on winning the battle! Oh- what a horrid cycle it is!
im almost thinking my teeth look better ( not sure if this actually possible but they seem to look less translucent)
Will win will win will win .
Hope you are all succeeding out there!
x

48 hours down!!

jazz's picture

Thanks everyone for your encourging comments! Although i feel enourmous and bloated i am ecstatic as i have made it 48 hours b/p free, for the first time in nearly 5 years. Bit frustrating getting up to go to the loo 6 times in the night but i guess its all part of recovering. Can;t help worrying though how my weight will be eating normally. It has definately significantly increased over the last few weeks through my half hearted attempts at recovery. i am happy how i am right now but how much will i gain?! I am a very physical person so it surprises me how much ive gained eating a normal diet. Any thoughts. Maybe i shoudl stop worrying. Im on the road to recovery and im getting healthier. Oh to just remember and believe it.
:)

Made it 24 hours!!

jazz's picture

Made it 24 hours no b/p and feeling very proud,m, and normal!! although very bloated and enormous, but im staying hopeful that this is part of the recovery stage. Eaten quite a lot but it is all healthy so im not panicing and fully hoping this panic feeling over food will dissappear over time. hopefully in a few days i might notice some encouraging physical differences....we'll see...
x

starting all over again! day 1!

jazz's picture

So ive decided to start right over again. for the last month ive been kidding myself believing that i was recovering but really ive only had 1 or 2 b/p free days. I feel so much happier when i know i havent purged all day but for some reason once im on a mission i just conveniently forget. So i thought i better put into writing that today is officically day 1. Just to make it 3 days would be a huge accomplishment. Step by step. i desperately want to recover but i become possessed and cant stop eating and the off to the bathroom.........

1) i want to be healthy again, not a sickly person
2) i want to stop selfishly damaging myself
3) i want to save my teeth, my organs and in the name of vanity - my skin, teeth, hair
4) i want to be able to have kids and a family
5) I want to be normal
6) i want to give up this food obsession
7) I want to stop spending so much time and money on food

I want to be succesful and recover. With all these wants you would think stopping such a little thing would be easy- but its not! But I will recover, here starts my journey!

Love this site- amazing inspirational people and stories. good luck everyone on the route to recovery.

Back in a few days with my check in !
x

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