Bulimia Help

hello all! so im starting over AGAIN today. trying not to be so hard on myself and live in the moment. i cant change the past or predict the future. it's my real birthday today but hopefully my sobriety date as well. this journey is the most difficult thing ive ever done but im starting to get a connection with my higher power and am seeing results. thank you for the support and good luck to all of u!

this whole disease plus alcoholism is getting to be too much for me. im at the point where i WANT to change and yet it still happens, EVERY DAY. i feel like this is going to kill me soon and i hate that, i dont want to die! ive been going to AA meetings and feel like i cant get it. i was on my way today and then stopped at the grocery store, jack in the box, AND taco bell. now im drinking waiting for time to pass so i can b/p. this life is so sad and i know im not supposed to be this person, im gaining weight and feel like crap and i dont know how to stop (actually, i do and am just not putting in any action) advice from anyone who has ever been in the same boat b/c i feel like im the only person whos ever gone thru this thank u

so im sitting here with my wine, vodka, 2 dominos pizzas jack in the box dessert, appetizers........this sucks. it had taken over my life both alcohol and food and i cant get out. ive made friends in EDA and AA and keep lying to ACT like im ok, what do i do i feel like i need an interventon

so i finally made 2 dr. appts for friday. a dietician and a normal appt with a GP to get a full physical. im scared about knowing what i have done to myself but this is the first step. last night i drank and binged so bad....so i woke up, called an AA buddy that is recovering from both alcoholism and bulimia and she told me what to do. i have given up and am trying to surrender because i feel like it's "game over." i have nowhere else to go.....its either stop and get better or im dead. that is scary so i am going to try and get my life in order. thank you everyone for this site!

So a few weeks ago I had 5 days. Then I B/P'd and started drinking again and all has gotten out of control. My heart hearts and I know that I need to start taking care of myself again. I feel like a crazy person. I find myself starting the day so well and then I just think of all the food i want and then it happens, i dont even WANT to do it anymore. It's like im being controlled by something other than myself! Well, anyways, today is Day 1 and I will continue to blog about my ups and downs and try to remember that all of the uncomfortableness will subside eventually (ex. "recovery belly"). Thank you everyone for listening, and if any of you have a structured eating example plan that would be AWESOME!

ok so last night i b/p'd on my day 6. i guess this morning is different b/c i am not beatin myself up over it. im resuming my normal structured eating and not trying to feel guilt, b/c i know where that leads me. i will go on a healthy beach walk to get some air and reflect on what a wonderful day i will have. So often i try to do things like recovery with perfectionism, but i am slowly learning that perfectionism will only set me up for failure. this is life, and life has bumps in the road and THAT is what makes it a learning experience. I never thought id even go a day w/o B/P and drinking, so going 5 days in a ROW shows me that my life is on the way to recovery. thank you all for this website b/c i felt so alone before i began to read everyone else's stories. Have a beautiful day!

Hey guys! It's day 4 for me, no alcohol and no B/P. Ive been eating structurally and even though we arent supposed to use "diets" I have gone back to using WW Points to help me. It seems to be working, Ive been getting a sufficient amount of calories I think, even though I DO get a bloated tummy at night. Im trying to eat 5-6 small meals to regulate my metabolism. I am 25 years old and started my bulimia in conjunction with my alcoholism about 3 years ago. I started to go to AA meetings (for real this time) on the 23rd and have met amazing people there and also through this wonderful website! It's always nice to meet new friends here so feel free to ask questions or introduce yourself!
Your new friend,
Lindsay