tapas butterfly's picture

my preious blog entry talked about needing support to go to an NA meeting, since i am trying to stop drinking and smoking weed. I tried to go on sunday but no one was there the meeting must have been canceled. later that night I thought about how I posted on this site asking for support and encouragement to go to the meeting. So not to let you guys down I went to my first AA meeting in the evening. It was weird. Most of the people there were old and looked homeless. I was hoping the people there would be more relatable to me. I ended up leaving half way through the meeting.

I have made some progress in trying to recover from substances. I went on a walk with my girl friend and I told her I was trying to quite drinking and smoking. she is trying to stop drinking to so we have made some arragnments to help support eachoer. however this was earlier today and her I am edrinking a vodka drink.

these feeing remind me so much of my eatinging disorder. Of wanting so badly to stop binging and puriging, making promises to myself and to others yet i would always find my head in a tolit and my fingers jammed down my thoat. It took alot of hard work and continual reminder of what i really want but I havent had my head in a toliet for quite some time. I keep reminding myself of this. I hope with time and work on my part I can recovery from this to. In a group therapy session for ed I was discussing my substance use and a girl said "I cant wait tfor you to be happy without anything, no ed, no drugs, no drinks". I cant wait for that either


RemediosVII's picture
Joined: 5 Mar 2010
Hey girl. I'm here for you.

Hey girl. I'm here for you. I've had to look reality in the eye and I've been drug & alcohol free for 10.5 months today.. If you need support, I'll give it to you :)

The time is now. Liberate yourself.

jenclairemaria's picture
Joined: 5 Dec 2011
Ive been wanting to go to

Ive been wanting to go to more meetings again...I was encouraged to do the 90 meetings in 90 days, & get a sponsor etc, but still haven't..yet! I sometimes smoke weed or take pills (used to drink too) to avoid binge/purge episodes. Now it doesn't really work, I say it's all the same shit, different pile (excuse the expression!!). One day I long to be able to truly live without a crutch...That's what I feel it like-I scramble for anything to "fix" or numb or comfort etc...I'm in awe of the few people I know who have managed to conquer issues & maintain a balanced lifestyle without an unhealthy coping mechanism, whether it's an eating disorder, a drug addiction, (or even serial relaionship-hopping!) I had a wonderful counselor who says keep looking for other meetings until you fnd one you connect with. There'll be others who've got a lot of recovery time behind them. I think the support & wisdom might help me in every area...I'm going to try getting myself to a meeting tomorrow...I think there's one at noon. One day we WILL be living free & enjoying life!!

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