Argh the weirdest things are happening to me since beginning structured eating. I feel like I have massive "withdrawal" symptoms or something... I have had headaches, tight chest and the most anxious feelings this morning. I tried my uttermost hardest to not b/p but I gave in. I have just been feeling so horrible and as soon as I had consumed all this junk food the headaches went away and I felt so much better. These early days are just so incredibly hard and it is such a struggle to battle with these thoughts every fricken day. I have no one around me who knows what im going through so I just come across as this tired, moody person when I feel like screeming out for help!! I wish people knew but at the same time I dont want them too... hence why im keeping it quiet. I have my mum to talk to but although she says she will be there for me she really just doesnt understand when I need her the most. She lives in a different city so last night when I feel like im going crazy and would have loved to just talk to her about how im feeling I txt her to see if she is free for a chat.... no reply.... txt again..... then I just get this stupid short txt back this morn saying "sorry didnt get your txt til late." It made me so upset and I think thats what triggered my binge. There was no "are you ok?" or "do you want to talk now?". It sucks.,... I feel so fucken alone and all I want is just for someone to hold my hand and guide me through this. Whats the point in having a support buddy such as my mother if she is who triggers my binges?!!?!?!?!!?
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