ARGGGGGGGH

Sadie345's picture

Argh the weirdest things are happening to me since beginning structured eating. I feel like I have massive "withdrawal" symptoms or something... I have had headaches, tight chest and the most anxious feelings this morning. I tried my uttermost hardest to not b/p but I gave in. I have just been feeling so horrible and as soon as I had consumed all this junk food the headaches went away and I felt so much better. These early days are just so incredibly hard and it is such a struggle to battle with these thoughts every fricken day. I have no one around me who knows what im going through so I just come across as this tired, moody person when I feel like screeming out for help!! I wish people knew but at the same time I dont want them too... hence why im keeping it quiet. I have my mum to talk to but although she says she will be there for me she really just doesnt understand when I need her the most. She lives in a different city so last night when I feel like im going crazy and would have loved to just talk to her about how im feeling I txt her to see if she is free for a chat.... no reply.... txt again..... then I just get this stupid short txt back this morn saying "sorry didnt get your txt til late." It made me so upset and I think thats what triggered my binge. There was no "are you ok?" or "do you want to talk now?". It sucks.,... I feel so fucken alone and all I want is just for someone to hold my hand and guide me through this. Whats the point in having a support buddy such as my mother if she is who triggers my binges?!!?!?!?!!?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

1 comment

jellybeez
jellybeez's picture
Offline
Joined: 13 Feb 2011
you are definitely not alone!

you are definitely not alone! the point of the blog is to not feel so alone! i am here too!

i also don't have ANYONE to know that i am in a personal recovery stage. After 6 years of bulimia i am determined to have a bulimia free life. yell here, scream here, cry to us here. i am here to listen to you too. the blog is really making a difference in my recovery. don't give up. everyone deserves a happy and peaceful mind, work for it. don't look to your mother for excuses.

do it for you. do it for your future. do it so that you don't feel tired and sad everyday. do it so that you can exercise and have the energy for it, and do it to be happy!

much love!

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