My struggle
My lack of love in my childhood years made me ponder if it was my fault that no one loves me. I was aware I was plus sized but I didn't care at first. After I reached 12, I started to get worried and conscious about my weight. I looked at all the skinny girls and I hoped I could be as thin. I had suicidal thoughts, self multilation to try to cut away my fats. I hsted them.
I soon became stuck in my world of anorexia and started rejecting food. I would starve myself for days. It worked and I lost 20kilos in a month. But after that short term moment of success, I couldn't lose anymore weight. I felt helpless again.
I tried slimming pills, laxatives, even toothpaste. None worked and for a few months now I have been purging my food to maintain my weight. I hate myself, I hate being fat anf ugly. I survive on liquid diets but my weight still has not gone down.
I get more attention now, but still, he does not love me. I go out with friends in fear that I have to eat something not on my list of acceptable foods.
Lord, someone help me.
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I started out as extremely overweight and I envied everyone around me. I am a yo yo diets and can gain and lose 100 pounds just like that then gain it all back. Don't worry about what he thinks.
(My ex he is kind of what triggered me. He told me if I did not lose weight then it was over. go figure.)
You are worth it to get rid of this disease. You are worth it in this world. It is not him that you need to worry about. It is yourself. You are a beautiful person and are having a weak point in your life. This will make you stronger later.
"Wow, look how beautiful I am."