I rarely blog, but it is after midnight and it has been a tough month. I am still okay though. Stopped purging for my son's first b-day and so far, it has been almost a month, which, is a stellar victory for me. I am even past the bloating stage, which, I rarely ever pass without relapse. I eat pretty big dinners (for me, anyway), and get a little bloated, but it seems to pass by morning. I have had so much stress in the last month, it is amazing that I have hung on. Only for my little one, have I been strong. My inlaws hate me, I am trying to start a new career (freelance stuff from home), and am trying to be more affectionate with my wonderful husband. He has been so supportive, and I have been distant. I went running with a friend today, which, I never do, and she kicked my rear end, but it was nice. I have very few women friends. I have always found it difficult to relate to "normal" women with normal lives.
I guess I am one of these people who feels like there is always more out there. I want an exciting life, and when I don't get it, I turn to bulimia. I know that without bulimia, my life will probably be exciting, but I have never explored it. Until now...(crossing fingers). 17 years with this sh$@! Long enough. Anyway, I am always looking for friends. Downed a package of twizzlers tonight, and I am trying not to let it bother me. I will be okay tonight though, but it really is day-by-day.
I hope everyone out there is doing okay. This is a really sick problem, and it can really take over your life. When stressful situations happen, it is hard not to just say f-it and go back to old habits, but, I guess the more you fight through those, the easier it gets.
Coming to ya live from day 20 :-) All the best,
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