Day 2 since I last binged and purged and the desire is clawing at my brain. I want to self-destruct. I want to throw myself into the numbness of bulimia. I want to throw myself into a non-stop frenzy of self-harm. But I want a life, a more fulfilled life, instead of a food-filled life. I want to feel good about myself instead consumed with self-hate but is that possible? Please let it be possible. In the meantime I guess I have to struggle on.
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