Bulimia Help

I just finished my breakfast, and it was like mwah.. euh.. okay. Don't feel that satisfied. Actually i didn't know what to eat, also felt quiet alone and lonely.
My former boyfriend from long long ago finally has wun the heart of the girl of his dreams. Sounds weird, doensn't it. I am not even jealous of him or her. I am quite happy for them. I think I am just envious of the situation. How wonderful must it be to reconnect with the one you like/love/think about so much!

In all my honesty I can say, I have no feelings for my former bf anymore, we have no contact anymore, and that's fine too. When we were in a relationship it turns out to be a father-child ( i was the child ofcourse) relationship - i NEEDED him to protect me, to do things for me, to be there for me unconditionally. It wasn't healthy in the way that NOBODY, (the closest are your parents ofcourse) can ever be there for you unconditonally. Even when we broke up, i relied on him. It made the relationship unbalanced, it made me poor and helpless, it made him to experience me as poor and helpless (perhaps pathethic even?). It was a relationship in which we had guilt-figths when I, broke as I was ( we were students) still bought food, driving him mad.
He also just knew when I was about to go throwing up. He would say to me: "Don't you think I just know when you are going to throw up? You pretend to go 'la la la' to the toilet, and afterwards you manage to finish three other plates of food!"

Staying in touch with him would remain this unbalanced relationship, because I still think he thinks I need him. I dislike that. Nobody should think (anymore) that I am helpless or pity or pathetic (maybe I did unconciously expose myself like, YAH, i think i did).
So i saw him changed his relationstatus, and i was like, will it ever happen with me and H.?