and ups verses downs.

I can't overcome this horrible life~!

0464's picture

I try so hard to eat little at a time, which consists of fruits and veggies. I learned to hate meat and i'm getting to the point where all food tastes disgusting, when i eat more than a cup full of yogurt or too much fruit, or alot of liquids, i can't keep it down, i'm always throwing everything up, whether its a bite of something or a small meal. i keep tums on me at all times from all the heart burn i get. i purge every night. and i can't stop. When i quit purging, i started off again with small amounts of food intake and it gradually reached 3 times as much and in my head i keep thinking i have to eat all of it. Then it all started again. i am depressed when i eat, i can't stop thinking about what i'm going to eat and get rid of afterward. I keep gaining weight and i don't know why? I have no one to talk with about it and no one is there to help me, i want to quit, and be able to eat a healthy meal and feel good, i wanna be able to go out to a restaurant and eat successfully. but it never fails.

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