throwing up

relapsing

adrienne's picture

ugh. so it seems that since i went on vacation last week and since i have allowed myself golden spoon frozen yogurt as a snack, i feel out of control. i have officially binged twice. i have over eaten at several meals as well. tonight i binged and purged by throwing up which i haven't done in a very long time. i have binged but generally i had decided that purging with laxatives was the lesser of two evils. tonight i actually purged and was scared at how simple it was. i MUST start fresh tomorrow. i have gained weight slowly back and am uncomfortable in my body. i think the weight gain led to me feeling defeated and hopeless. but i really musn't fall. yes i have fallen but i can get back up and start fresh tomorrow.
i did 7 weeks. i can start again and let this last week be a learning experience. i can't let my guard down. it was a slow progression. allowing trigger foods too quickly etc.
has anyone else experienced this??? i thought i was in recovery. but now i feel like i am starting all over again. =( boo. i have let things get out of control. i want to get back on track.

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