Bulimia Help

I am a really bad control freak with a lot of aspects of my life, I like to have things in order, I like to always have a plan of what im doing, and if it changes suddenly I can feel pretty crazy.

I think for me my ed started as a control issue, I used it briefly to control my weight. I say briefly because we all know that it takes us over in no time at all. But then reflecting back, for me I used it as an escape from my control issues. After the first few years, when the illusion that I was in control of my behaviours vanished I was left with this thing that I could not control, it controlled me and I knew it, but in a sick way I embraced it.

I guess we can all find escape in our ed's a lot of the time, even when we realise that they are the things causing most of the pain in our lives. When I was bingeing and purging they were parts of my day that I could just let go of everything, parts of the day where I could let my mind race, stop being "strong" and just be.

Looking back thats a crazy mindset too, but I think thats how I felt in relation to control issues x x

I'm a Wanna be control freak! I wish i was a control freak, but i'm really disorganised and messy and impulsive. I'm VERY VERY type A when it comes to my job and my expectations of myself in that regard but when i get home i'm not that way at all. My disorganised eating patterns are just another sign of it. Getting organised and tidy really calms me and helps me to eat better, but i can't maintain it. Maybe it is that all/nothing thinking- if i can't get my house completly tidy all the time, why bother at all (last time i had guests i had to hide the dirty dishes in the oven :-) lol!! ).

yes. i am a total and utter control freak. i think it goes along with perfectonism as being a classic ed trait. so i try and lose control of little things to challenge myself. but it makes me feel like a nervous wreck half the time!!!

Thanks for all the replies.

Catherine, yours in particular makes sense to me. Because the ED is so all-encompassing and all-consuming (no pun intended, HA!) I guess I have had to hand myself over to it completely. In a weird way, it's allowed me to give up control in at least one area of my life, when I have tried unsuccessfully in all others to always be strong and keep it together.

In a way, it's a relief and it serves a purpose, I guess.

I am a major control freak, the only thing I am not is my room which seems to forever be untidy, its like i am a closet messy person in my own space when my boyfriend is a way, when he comes back i am back to miss clean and tidy.

In every other aspect I am a control obsessive, I worry about everything, no matter what it is, major worry wart about everything from health, to what people think of me, if my mum is home late from work i am of course then running every scenario in my head that she has been attacked or in a car crash. So this makes my control freak tendencies to be even worse when you worry about every little thing, as worrying about every little thing, thst doesnt need to be worried about, gives a sense of not being in control, so i then obsess about being in control even more of things that I am unecessarily worrying about.

God that was a mouthful, dont know if I have explained myself properly lol, whilst I dont think I am a complete OCD I do have tendancies that arrise from my need to control everything. And my bulimia is often a form of release, if your going through a bad time, where everything spirals and it feels like you loose control, it is the one thing that you can control, untill the addiction takes over and you find yourself in the scary situation of not being able to stop even for a day and you realise you have lost control of yourself.

xxxx

I like to be in control, too ..but it doesnt work always. So when it doesnt work I b/p

I am also a control freak,but I think in my case it's genetic. My mother and father are also control freaks but it seems that this reflects through ED with me. I am always planing something(I know what will I do in every minute of my day and in near future) and I get angry and anxious if I don't "stick to the plan".

i'm defiently a huge control freak, i feel like i'm constantly trying to keep everything together, and get things done, and I want to control my own life and it becomes very stressful, I have been working on it, and have gotten alot better, but now I'm challenged by being back home

I'm, also a major control freak. Something to do with being a perfectionist. In my head I see things as if I'm in control of things (life, body, actions, etc.) than I everything will be perfect. The only problem is that my idea of 'perfect' is always far beyond my capabilities, therefore, I'm never satisfied.

'Control freak' behaviour is linked to perfectionism. There's an insightful Wiki entry on perfectionism here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfectionism_(psychology)

i think so... my room is a mess tho :D besides that i like to be in control of everything all the time, maybe thats why i argue with my husband, he says im like the man in the relationship because i want thngs to be my way. i cant go to store if i know im not wearin makeup no no no big no! i dont own sweat pants because i think they look like pjs n i shouldnt wear that around the house. i wasnt like this before, i was messy n carefree, i liked me before my ed :( i changed a lot i n i wish i could go back.