Desperate Measures to Purge?

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catdohols's picture
Desperate Measures to Purge?

Hiya Everyone,

So a little while ago, I binged. Not all that uncommon for me, but the weird part is what I did after. My dad knew I had been in the kitchen for a while, because he was down stairs and everytime he came up I was there eating... So I figure he had put two and two together. I am really nervous about my parents finding me purging, even though they are aware of my ed, and I didn't want to go straight to the bathroom, because I wanted to avoid a conflict. I needed to purge, though, so I went to my room and threw up in a plastic bag. Disgusting, I know.

This is not the first time I have purged in a weird place (I've purged in the woods, in the shower, in some poor stranger's trashcan...)

But what I am wondering is if any of you have found yourself in a position where you have to purge, but a bathroom is not available? I want to know that I am not doing something totally bizarre and unheard of!

Stay strong!


AmMo's picture
I myself have never purged in

I myself have never purged in any place other than a restroom. I have purged in public restrooms too though and that was extremely awkward. If there really was no place to purge I would just keep it in...and that was extremely hard to do! One of my friends used to be bulimic and she told me that she would always keep those large ziploc bags, or a large tupperware container with her. She would purge into those and hang onto it until she found a trash can or washroom to get rid of it. I also watched a documentary of a woman who would purge into plastic bags and hide them in the closet from her husband until it was safe to get rid of them. Just remember that you're not alone and I understand the panic of trying to find a place to purge.

Miss H
Miss H's picture
i've purged into a plastic

i've purged into a plastic bin, in the woods by my house, in the bathroom on a train (yuk yuk yuk), other public toilets, into a sink on holiday (there were sultanas and then they blocked the drain coz they swell up- so there was sultanas popping up into the sink for the next few days!)

catdohols's picture
oh i'm relieved that its not

oh i'm relieved that its not totally out of the ordinary, thank you for sharing with me!

adie's picture
i have done many of the

i have done many of the things that you mentioned and many other ones ... i don't think i need to list all of my purging strategies, but you are certainly not the only one


ch2392's picture
=/ i have purged in several

i have purged in several places other than my own private bathroom. it is soo hard to sit there after a binge and not purge. it is one of the most uncomfortable things ever, so i totally understand where you are coming from.

"Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have left. You may not be where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be."

miss_georgia's picture
i've done that in the plastic

i've done that in the plastic bag too, also into empty cans, empty bottles (used to cut the tops off empty squash bottles, puke in them and then sellotape platic over the top of them to stop the smell), empty plastic containers, basically anything waterproof - if i could puke in it, i would!!

i have done some utterly disgusting things and i am not proud, I hate the fact I used to do those things! it makes me feel so disappointed in myself.

i have never told anyone this by the way! not one single person! My mum knew i did it but she could never speak to me about it because i would just flip and cause a huge arguement, so she learnt not to mention it to me just to keep the peace, god i was horrible!!!

the worst time ever was when i lived with my ex, i puked in the flower bed (had no flowers in at the time, just soil) and i covered it all up with soil, the next day without me knowing, he went out to chop the bushes and ended up standing in the flowerbed - he got puke all over his trainers,in his socks etc ... when he asked me if i'd been sick in the flowerbed and told me what had happened, i was so ashamed, embarrassed and utterly disgusted with myself, i couldnt speak to him or look at him for a long time!

this fuckin illness makes people do things that make them feel worse about themselves, I know it has made me!! i hate it and am ready to quit all this bullshit!

so what if I gain a fuckin stone? at least I will have the energy to smile, at least I wont be feelin so fuckin secretive all the time, at least i'd have the energy and enthusiasm to speak to my mates and have a genuine laugh with them!!! i hate having a prob with food - it makes me feel ridiculous!!

kirstenmaria's picture
i've driven away from my

i've driven away from my house, pulled over by a hiking trail to purge.
in the snow,
totally freezing cold.

also in the sink after i had clogged the toilet by binging too much in it.

this disease makes me crazy. i am all set--i want my life back.


Espiritual's picture
i throw up in plastic bags

i throw up in plastic bags all the time. or ill go for a walk in the dessert and puke behind a bush. i keep extra bags in my car and pretend i have to get something.

I want my life back too... i hate this.... soooo much i hate it..

Your not discusting. Ed is. He's an asshole that plays us all... Fucking jerk.

bluestickienotes99's picture
the bushes at church

when I ate Halloween candy I was passing out.
I have done it in bags, containers, out my car window, woods, public bathrooms, school...etc..etc.
Also, one time I did it in my closet because my friends were over and there was someone in my bathroom. Then, my friend found the ziploc bag full of puke, brought it out, and showed everyone...not good.

"I'm halfway to happy now, and I always mistake it for progress."

OrganizedChaos's picture
Desperate Times. . .

That's not abnormal at all! ..At least not from my perspective. I've purged into empty comtainers in my car before, and also in the woods. But I rarely EVER purge into the toilet. I line one of my waste baskets with a garbage bag and puke into that. ...I don't use toilets for purging because of the backsplash.. xP

But anyways, you're not alone - I've gone to desperate measures to purge as well. I'm not proud of it, but I've been there =/

"Bulimia, that state of fear and desire, that violent crashing back and forth between hunger and the abortion of hunger, between taking in and throwing back what is most needed and instinctively desired: food. The bread of life." -Marya Hornbacher

Scarlet Bones
Scarlet Bones's picture
Catdohols youre not alone

I have to do some terrible things when Ive felt trapped

*Bathroom (99%)
*Public toilets
*Woods near my house when my Brother took all the doors off the bathrooms in our house
*Plastic bins
*Plastic bags
*Shower (when I was sectioned and the nurse was with me 24/7). Disgusting I know
*Local nut house bathroom when I was looked up for 6-7weeks
*Hospital (following my cardiac arrest)
*My car
Pretty much anywhere

I hate feeling trapped but I have only done this when my backs been up against the wall as a last resort

Ive never admitted this to anyone before because of the shame and filth of it. :O(((((

♥ ♥ 'To be Perfect is to be Imperfect' ♥ ♥

klq0587's picture

As I'm sure you've read, you are completely NOT alone in the "weird" purging. In fact, I've gotten to the point where I prefer to purge into plastic bags in a trash can in my bedroom than in the bathroom because the bathroom is right next to my dad's bedroom and the kitchen. But I've stopped at gas stations, rest stops, been in restaurants, even the bathroom at work at two different jobs. Always paranoid about being caught, and a couple of times, I know that people have heard me and/or been suspicious. It's a terrible feeling and very embarrassing. Nothing glamorous about this disorder at all. :(


G92's picture
I rarely purge in a bathroom

I rarely purge in a bathroom anymore because of parents being suspicious (my mum has already walked in on me once and then told my brother and dad at the dinner table). After my mum said "If I find out you're making yourself sick I'll be really angry" a few years back I've made sure not to tell her or anyone I know for that matter.

I usually purge into a 2 litre ice-cream container and when it's almost full quickly flush the content down the toilet. I'm only in the bathroom for a few minutes cleaning the toilet and then go back to my room to re-fill the container. They have no idea.

I've also purged in restaurant toilets, friend's and family member's toilets, all sinks, toilets, showers in my house and our bath in a water jug that washes your hair (gross). I've purge in public showers at campsites, plastic bags, food containers. So many I can't think of them all.

I also do this really disgusting thing occasionally where I've finished 'full on' purging but there's still a tiny bit that comes up from time to time so I'll be downstairs watching TV (sometimes with family in the room) and pretend to drink out of a mug but purge in it. I am truly disgusted with myself and I try to do it in one mug which I wash thoroughly afterwards and then put in the dishwasher and try my hardest to keep away from anyone else using it.

You're definitely not alone and your profile picture is gorgeous!

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