New here, relapsed, and caught
Hi everyone,
I am new here and been bulimic on and off for 6 years. I just began relapsing and had bags of vomit in the unfinished basement. Gross, and and embarrassing, I know, but my mom went out earlier and I was going to rid of them to see that they were all gone. She has not said anything and they knew I was anorexic and slightly relapsed. I have only b/p once today and so badly want to now. My parents are on their last straw with me and can't understand how I much I hate tbhis and don't want this. I can't stand the cycles, and they believe I like it. I don't know if i should say anything or not. Well, it did feel good to vent a bit.
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A particularly low weight serves to maintain eating disorders. A preoccupation with food, depression and a physiological pressure to eat is related to low weight.
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I feel ya. I used to puke in the garbage can in my room so my roommates wouldnt hear me. I would feel so ashamed walking that puke bag out to the garabage can, praying no one would ever EVER find me out. fucking sucks. Im here for you on that.
Oh if i could tell you how many times i've been on that walk of shame with the bag of puke....it's awful
just hold my hand i think that would help.
Horrible I recently started puking in a bowl and throwing it down the garbage disposal when my bf is inthe shower... He goes in the shower after dinner for an hour and I think he does it so I can't purge but of course I had to find a way around that...
Horrible I recently started puking in a bowl and throwing it down the garbage disposal when my bf is inthe shower... He goes in the shower after dinner for an hour and I think he does it so I can't purge but of course I had to find a way around that...
Your parents may seem completely unhelpful, but deep down as time passes you will seceretly be glad your parents found those bags, i know its awful, stashing them until the coast it clear, i think this just add more anixety because your always thinking about when you can get rid of the bags, stashed them in cupboards/ odd places for up to a week untill trash day, then running out super early on trash day with this massive stinking heavy leaking bag and almost have a panic attack each time, not knowing if anyone will catch you, or wether the bag will bust half way there.
Try stay strong, you have been free from it before so you know its possilbe. Stay strong.
Wow I thought i was crazy insane the only one to do this.... and it looks like i dont feel as lonely about it, or as ashamed as i make myself feel. i know its all part of the disease we need to kick aside and think healthy thoughts. for advice, its really up to you. if you want to talk to your mom you can, you know, im sure it will really relieve you and her and just be honest and tell her you are workign on recovery and are working on gettingg better etc, or mmaybe she will offer advice and help or what not, sometimes these things are all for the best in the long term. she is probably afraid bc she doesnt know much about bulimia, if she knew however, she could talk to you, bt she is scared. so just tyr and be patient with her, its not her fault most of the world is ignorant about bulimia!!!!
dee, horsebackgirl
except us!!! we know whats up,lol
dee, horsebackgirl
Somtimes confrontations from others gives me a reality check about my behaviors. I try to realize how my behaviors are affecting those around me. I used to live along and could b/p whenever and I think it almost killed me. Living with others has helped me to change my behaviors. At the beginning I stopped purging because of the people around me, it's so shameful to have this disorder when you live with others!! I can sympathize!! Try to understand that your loved ones are just trying to help because they care so much.
Live in the present
Yea, in a way, it is for the best. For example, I have been fighting a binge for the past 2 hours now because my mom is home. It normally wouldn't have been a problem, but she has caught all my "tricks" through the years, so there is no way of getting around her. So, for now, I am feeling antsy, but know I can't do anything about it. Sad to say though, I am praying for her to go out, even for a little while.
i feel you but BE STRONG. and i could never ever talk to my mom about any of this she would feel so hurt and left behind. I can sense that she knows something is wrong and feels as if I am isolating her from my life but i dont mean it. I dont want to break her heart :(. Im having a good day and i didnt b/p yesterday even tho i ate a poptart latenight bc i was starving. I dunno, i think that its a battle with yourself that you have to beat personally, advice helps tho. thanks everyone.