Forgive yourself for any binges. Its NOT your fault, its NOT your fault, its NOT your fault. Its a natural reaction to restrictive eating and it takes time to get your body back in balance.
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caitlin1988 been eating too horribly this weekend. 9 min ago |
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beautiful_babe Hey that's awesome I'm glad your having a great day! Ya I am addicted I have a halloween cupcake with a spider on it, my uncle that passed away his name with marijuana leaves around it very pretty, my aquarius sign, a star, sisters in japanese on my foot,a play boy bunny hehe I want another bad! I used to have one on my finger it said peace but it rubbed off I did that one myself lol. Ya my Bdays the 10th I wana try n get another one . I'm doing better thanks! Ttul hun! 15 min ago |
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beautiful_babe » ccampbell105 Hey, thanks ya I totally need to do that I'm alwa)s so tired and can never wake up I always sleep till 2pm or sometimes even 5pm its crazy! B ut ya I deff. Need to work on hanging with friends I'm sure it will also help me out a bit. So far todays alright I just woke up lol :/ so we'll see how it goes hopecfully better than yesterday. Ttul hun! 19 min ago |
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Miss H » erinkraig thank you! a wonderful day. went to the clinic, saw a baby be born. he was so cute. then i went for a run (which hurt) and came home and had a healthy tea -but now have a stomach ache! :( how are you? i hope you are having an equally wonderful day! 30 min ago |
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Miss H » lara_87 that's not the first time i've heard of people allowing themselves one b/p day a week. but it's good that you've decided to make it two weeks. but then what if you are okay and you don't want to, or do you think that part of it is because there are still certain aspects you like about the disorder? don't feel ashamed if it's true- I think it is for me. and just isn't it the worst when thin people call themselves fat. i do this ALL the time. so there is probably a secret bulimic friend who i know and who hates me for it... 32 min ago |
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Miss H » firestorm but you should definitely talk to your doctor. otherwise if you stay on them, you could end up going through the same again. or maybe they gave you too high a dose, so maybe they need to reduce it. oh i don't know what to suggest, but i'm slightly worried... i hope things work out. keep me updated, okay? 34 min ago |
Alright...so I'm not trying to trick myself into thinking I'm totally happy with my body image and am fine with any amount of weight gain, and so on.
I'm still struggling with my ED thoughts and my idea of the "perfect body" and desires to achieve it (although those thoughts and compulsions have lessened over the past few weeks, which is an amazing feeling in itself).
But I feel like I'm having little breakthroughs and it's making me really happy and helping me to believe in my own recovery more and more.
Yesterday I was alone in the apartment and was having a pretty good day - went shopping earlier and visited my sister and her dog, and was just hanging around until my boyfriend came back from out of town. Since I was bored, I thought
I'd go through my closet and play dress-up a little, just for fun. I was worried that it might make me feel depressed, because I've gained weight and bigger than even before my ED, since my body is at a high point of fluctuation as it re-balances itself, and I don't feel entirely comfortable with it. But I felt like I was strong enough, as I've done pretty well this week.
So I was trying on some dresses and heels and stuff and just playing around, and dresses that were once loose on me fit perfectly, which would've thrown me into a depression had this been a month ago.
When I tried them on at first, I had a little pang of "OMG...they FIT - OH NO!" but I managed to successfully ignore those thoughts and they went away pretty quickly - it felt good! Anyways, I have this one dress that's basically a "weight gain barometer" for me.
I bought it last year when I was probably 5 lbs thinner - I wasn't fully engaged in ED behaviour at that time though, it was during an "off" period (although I was semi-ana and weight obsessed, as was usual during those periods, just no b/p-ing).
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