I am now 2 month purge free.
And the following challenge for me is to accept overeating,weight gain and depression.
Since I stopped purging and dieting I have no fall back on destructieve behavior-I thought.
But the truth is a veil is broken, I now see how low,miserable,depressed and ashamed I
often feel about my life and myself.
I had nearly 20 years bulimia.I could not work,could not get children, could not find
a good place to live, could not do things I loved.
I chose the eating disorder to distract me from all the pain in my past and all the things I was
not able to do normal because of low selfworth and fear.
I just want to share this because I feel insecure,alone and dont know how to handle this at the
I mean, the real missing is selfworth,selflove and acceptance that I have not achieved anything,
but staying alive and get to the point of being purge free for 2 month and endure terrible weight
gain,being fat and overeat every day.
Ilong for the person I was once,long ago: creatieve,optimistic,idealistic,trusting unless fearfulness.
Now, with 43 I feel old and broken.Broken through this disorder.
I hope I find strength again to go on and not get under medication, the one thing I hope to avoid for-
If anyone want to contact me, maybe with relating problems what happens when purge free and some
one has to face reality, I will be glad.