Afraid to eat

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Determined 86
Determined 86's picture
Afraid to eat

Hi all, I've been offline from this community for some time and I've been doing quite well but recently I've had a lot of change in my life and uncertainty, changing jobs, ending one relationship and starting a new and I'm really struggling again :-( for the past couple of months I've been going downhill and i feel out of control now! I'm getting to the point where I'm afraid to eat because I can't trust myself and stop eating! I don't know what to do, I'm terrified :-( has anyone experienced this before or have some suggestions on how i might be able to confront eating? I'm eating bits and pieces during the day but night time is my problem, i haven't gone a night without over eating or purging for a couple of weeks now. I'm exhausted, lost, terrified and not sure what to do so if anyone has any advice I'd be so appreciative ☺ hope you're all having a great day xo

Just be happy with yourself and its so simple to grow <3

HopefulGirl
HopefulGirl's picture
Hi, there! I'm so sorry to

Hi, there! I'm so sorry to see you are struggling, but the important thing is you are sharing your experience and asking for help, which is exactly what you find here!
I can relate to the desperation you feel, and it's obvious you have major triggers going on in your life right now, so my humble piece of advice to you is just try to stay calm, follow structured eating and if you have identified the nights are the worst or weakest moments, then plan ahead something in order to be busy, or not at home, or with someone, so that you have less chances to overeat.
I have had eating disorders for 2 decades already and thanks to this site and years of seeking help, I'm finally getting there, closer and closer to being recovered for life, but it's a rocky road, and it takes time. How much time it really depends on each one of us, and comparisons don't help. So just focus on you, seek support, and be patient!
Make the most of every single tool available here, out there with the people you love and trust, and never give up! No matter how many times you feel you fail, since as long as you are committed to recovery, it will eventually come to you.
It's a process, and you'll start noticing the changes and feel more encouraged.
I can say a lot more, but the BHM book and this site has everything you need to recover, but do not forget the most important part which is your commitment and patience, love for yourself.
I'm still amazed at who I really am without the shackles of bulimia and anorexia... and in the moments of despair in recovery, like the one you are right now, for me it really worked to find alternatives to those triggers I had identified, so I just planned an activity, went to the movies (even by myself, which is something I do very often now for pleasure, but it started to stay out of trouble), join a club, visit a friend, do shopping, work or study more, anything that you find useful to keep you out of trouble!

HopefulGirl

workout
workout's picture
Oh my gosh. I'm so where you

Oh my gosh. I'm so where you are at! I was recovered for months and then life stress, lost a few pounds and all of a sudden intense fear around food. Leading to binging and purging once or twice a day. I am afraid to start eating as well because I just don't stop. My distress routine has become daytime tv on over pancakes and solitaire and it's great at first then deteriorates into a binge then a purge. It's horrible. I don't know how to break the cycle. I just started working with a coach and I think I really need to revert to the meal planning again. But my life is spiralling and I haven't found that strong obsession with health and recovery that I've had before. More that burnt out feeling of how much can I get away with. I need to get recommitted and am lacking motivation or hope. How are you doing?

Emily753113
Emily753113's picture
Try and think of the positive

Try and think of the positive and look at how far you've come,you've done it once for a number of months you can do it again.
For me I'm in the start of recovery it's hard but I feel like I might be seeing little positive changes.
It's great when you read the recovery stories but at the same time it makes you think this person never b/p in their recovery and are free from it now. I still am so will this ever happen for me!!Was this the only program you've really followed properly, or have there been other programs or books that have helped?
Take care Emily x

Emily x

workout
workout's picture
tried lots of programs , read

tried lots of programs , read every book, found things to boost and actually recoered off and on, but still gotta get there. need to get recentered and in touch with myself, centered, whole, balanced, when external stress builds i go back to building that security based on looks and fall backwards.

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