Am I the only one...

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granny goat
granny goat's picture
Am I the only one...

who wishes we didn't have to see obscenities in so many posts? I am probably not going to continue on this forum if I have to encounter such language because I don't want these words imprinted on my mind. I understand that strong feelings are being expressed here, but it is degrading to oneself and others to use such coarse words. Why can't we improve our vocabulary while we are making these improvements in our eating habits? Several of us have remarked on the beauty we see in the faces here. Shouldn't equally beautiful words come from these faces?

There are online thesauruses that can help us find the words we need to express ourselves. I use them when I can't quite find the right word.

http://thesaurus.com/browse/frustration

AnMu
AnMu's picture
You are not the only one. I

You are not the only one. I am also really bothered to see postings when word 'f..k' appear with such a high frequency.
The ladies should better concentrate to follow the recovery process than to express all their frustrations in postings. Bulimia is a bad habid we maintain it by repeteang it. It in our power to control it and not to let it control us.

AnMu

Angel333
Angel333's picture
Im on the fence with this

Im on the fence with this one. I am not a big swearer in my posts, however I do not feel in the slightest bit offended at a post which is filled with obscenities. Freedom of Speech and all that! And I also believe that its up to the individual to choose which words they want to use to express their feelings. Getting it off your chest in that way is often very therapeutic and posting their frustrations I believe have helped many through the tough times. Its their blog, its their posts. Like what the BHM book says - They shouldn't have to worry or care what anybody else thinks. This is their story, their lives, and them who are living it! If anyone is offended then that is their problem not the individuals who are doing the postings!
Let the girls recover in the way they feel best for them without turning this into a war about correct vocabulary!!

'We are each of us angels with only one wing, so we can only fly by embracing each other'

LeaLea
LeaLea's picture
I'm with you, granny goat. I

I'm with you, granny goat. I hate swearing and find it so unnecessary. We have a big, colourful language already and while sometimes words just fail to express our desperation and despair, surely we an still try without resorting to such offensive language

Lea

Apocalypse Meow
Apocalypse Meow's picture
Wow. It is your choice

Wow. It is your choice whether or not you are offended.

Speaking as one of the more vulgar people on this site, I refuse to apologize for expressing myself exactly as I deem fit, honestly and without inhibition. Isn't that why we come here? One of the only places we shouldn't have to censor ourselves?

Perhaps it is primarily a generational problem?

How petty to discontinue participation because of a few measly swear words.

Self-degradation? No. Nice try.

But, hey, at the end of the day we're all entitled to our subjective opinions. And if you choose to abstain from participation, that's your own loss.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on".

Apocalypse Meow
Apocalypse Meow's picture
Bog Brother? Big Granny, the

Bog Brother?

Big Granny, the language fascist.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on".

Apocalypse Meow
Apocalypse Meow's picture
*Big Brother, lol. Bog

*Big Brother, lol.

Bog Brother oppresses swamps.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on".

Kare
Kare's picture
Perhaps there is a way you

Perhaps there is a way you can 'block' people instead of leaving the site?

To each their own. Everyone has a right to their own feelings and ways of expressing themselves, but at the same time it is always nice to be considerate of those around you.

It is sad to see the above conversation get so ugly, on a site where we are here to support one another.

LOVE and FORGIVENESS heal all.

xoKare

larissag
larissag's picture
Remember we deal with

Remember we deal with recovery, not personalities. We take what we can and leave the rest. I find that the language here is directly voiced from the person who gave them. And goodness, I am the last one to say I like swearing! BUT, when it comes to the enemy that has afflicted this bulimia upon us, I will curse and spit at him! There is this "peace keeping" personality that comes from me needing to control people places and things, so I don't want anyone upset here! I know that each of us is trying to get well, and I see that!!! I don't want anyone to leave this site because I know it is such a powerful tool for our recovery! I think that if we sit with that inner wisdom inside of us all, we will know what direction is best to take. Being mindful of others but also doing what we know we need to do. I am glad that you were able to be honest here granny goat, as that is something that is hard for us all to do! I know I never want to "offend" anyone. I admire that in you. And the swearing, I see your heart through it, pain. They are words that utter the sickness and madness that is going on in our hearts. I think we can also practice a loving action through this and decide how best to approach this. To each their own. We look after ourselves and know, that it won't be "us" that changes anyone. We are here because we need to get well. Please stay. I love your posts. I look forward to the wisdom that you offer.

to thine own self be true

Apocalypse Meow
Apocalypse Meow's picture
I really didn't mean to get

I really didn't mean to get militant. I'd heavily edit my posts if I could. It was heat of the moment. I just can't stand censorship. I am sincerely sorry.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on".

Kare
Kare's picture
The fact that this

The fact that this conversation turned around to such positivity shows how wonderful we all are :)

We are open, honest, sincere, fearful, angry, scared, happy, sad, angry, hateful, loving, peaceful, forgiving..... we are human.

I am grateful to be part of this site.

Thank you all, for your words of wisdom and strength to keep on going.

xoKare

Angel333
Angel333's picture
Apocalypse Meow - You have

Apocalypse Meow - You have nothing to be sorry for!
You pay and earned your right to say and express yourself however you may choose.
Its your blog, its your feelings. Its just words afterall! Don't ever feel you should have to apologise for who you are in order to please others

'We are each of us angels with only one wing, so we can only fly by embracing each other'

beachykeen
beachykeen's picture
I have not been on in awhile

I have not been on in awhile and I will be the first to admit I have a potty mouth. I don't consider myself to have a limited vocabulary at all. I'm educated, multilingual (including curse words) and I'm regularly told by clients that I'm well spoken. Additionally, there are PLENTY of things I take issue with in peoples' posts. What few rules there are to this website clearly say no mentioning of numbers, measurement, calories, etc as they can be triggering yet people still post numbers, measurements, etc (or at least, I often saw it when I was on here more regularly). I take issue with the "God talk" on here. If I wanted to hear about God I would've continued OA meetings. Heck, I'm linguistically offended at the amount of deliberate misspellings and text abbreviations for words. In an age of autocorrect is it really that hard to type out the actual word instead of typing phonetically?! Hukd on foniks did NOT werk 4 ! (not specifically addressed to anyone in particular)

HOWEVER I realize that all of this is how each person is getting thru this journey for which we only have a vague road map. I also believe in the right to agree to disagree. I know people have found me offensive or disagreed with what I had to say. It is what it is. So if I know certain individuals have a habit of mentioning things I don't want to read I skip what they write to each other. If I look at a post title and it's a turn off for me I skip it. Lately, I have been only scanning titles in the Forums and Blogs sections rather than going thru the Activities. If I find a topic relevant or something I feel I can contribute to, then I read it. There was just too much that I wasn't in a space to read on a daily basis. Doesn't mean it shouldn't have been posted, I just shouldn't read it.

Granny Goat, perhaps you could build in your own censures instead of asking people to censure themselves for you. I'm certainly not going to stop expressing myself however I Gosh Darn please, but since I know you are particularly put off by certain language I'm happy to refrain when addressing you. That's respectful. Just like it's respectful that no one has ever tried to console me with "God talk."

I shall now return to the hiding space from whence I came.

granny goat
granny goat's picture
To francescia, I think there

To francescia,

I think there are many words that should not be used on a public forum. Racial slurs, religious slurs, making fun of handicaps or disabilities and obscene expressions are some that come to mind. You are entitled to your opinion and to do whatever the owners of this forum allow. Many public forums do ban extreme profanity.

In case you didn't read it in my original post, I intend to protect myself. I just thought I would ask for consideration rather than simply leaving.

beachykeen
beachykeen's picture
Racial, religious and

Racial, religious and disabled slurs are used with the intent of insult and hate. I agree there is no place for them here or anywhere. The last thing any of us should be doing is insulting. Cursing does not come from a place of mean spirited insults (unless hatefully directed at someone or something specific). My suggestion to "build in your own censures" was not intended to offend (which it sounds like I did) and I did not mean that you should censure yourself (in case it came across that way). I simply meant that there are ways to limit your exposure to whatever it is you don't want to read. I had to figure this out myself. You have offered advice and support to many on here, including myself. I assume you have received advice and support from many on here as well. It seems a shame leave the forum and lose the opportunity to give and receive support if there is a way around it. Mea culpa, I'm done.

This topic has made me analyze my speech. I seem to mostly use THOSE words as emphasis to adjectives. Maybe I'll try replacing everything with SMURF. Anybody remember the Smurfs? Everything was Smurfy, smurf this and smurf that. (stupid auto correct keeps changing it to surf)
I SMURFING hate it when I binge because I know even in the moment I'm making the conscious choice. I don't want to sit with the SMURFING urge to binge, I want it to go away so I SMURFING eat then feel smurfy about eating. (hrm, doesn't have the same ring. On the plus side it made me giggle to think in smurf thoughts so I guess I just laughed at my latest binge)

granny goat
granny goat's picture
To francescia, People who use

To francescia,

People who use racial, religious and disability slurs would make the same claims about their use of those words as you make about the use of obscenity. The fact is that these words are offensive to those listeners who do not use them and do not like them, no matter the intent.

spilut
spilut's picture
I think if we are talking

I think if we are talking about freedom of speech then it's only fair that the OP have the freedom to express her opinion on the language used here. Personally I think the problem lies not with the individuals here, but the structure of the forum. It would be far better to have a layout that gave users the freedom to select the posts in their feed. I find it a difficult site to use for that reason, and thus rarely use it.

I agree in freedom of speech, but I have to be honest that I don't spend much time on here because I find it hard to access content that's supportive to my own situation. I'm not saying this to have a go at anyone, but just that whoever designs the format of this forum might find it useful.

granny goat
granny goat's picture
To spilut, I agree with you

To spilut,

I agree with you that everyone should be able to express their opinion. I don't accept that anyone should be able to force others on a shared forum to see filthy words on their own profile page. I clicked on my profile page just now, and the first thing I see is a disgusting post using the f-word.

I have resigned and requested a refund because I will not be bullied into having degraded words burned into my mind against my will. AnMu has my e-mail address if any of those I have made friends with need to contact me.

spilut
spilut's picture
What a shame!! I think what

What a shame!!

I think what has saddened me too is the reaction to your polite initial post - To call you names!! You have made a very valid point, and I hope that the owners of the site consider some restructuring. I think it's important that those who wish to vent and swear have the opportunity to do so, and those who don't want to read that can avoid it without having to leave the site altogether.

There may be others who feel this way (like I said, I do) so hopefully there is a better solution!

Apocalypse Meow
Apocalypse Meow's picture
Peace Out.

Peace Out.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on".

freakyblonde88
freakyblonde88's picture
It is a valid point from one

It is a valid point from one point of view however we are all different. I think what is most important is to remember that Bulimia is an emotional thing. If any one of our members can find the safety and comfort that this community brings and be able to just "let it all out, the sadness, the frustration, the anger the hurt, then I say thank God they've found this place.

No one posts things with the intent to offend. We're here to help each other, sure things can always be better, but our main focus is recovery not vocabulary.

So let's not sweat the small stuff, and be grateful that despite all else and a world who doesn't get us, we have each other.

*Big hugs*

Life is too short to not be happy

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