Anybody else grow up in a loving family?

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bedelicious's picture
Anybody else grow up in a loving family?

Ive read so many stories of other sufferers and realized how blessed I have been.
Unlike many others, I was never abused in any way, had loving parents, many friends and was financially stable.
Yet here I am, as deep into this ED mess as any other here.
Now Im really confused as to how Ive developed this ED and depression. How did this happen??

Did anybody else have it as good, and stil develop an ED? What do you think were the causes?

I feel so guilty, considering what amazing circumstances I was born into... Ive been taking for granted all the blessings in my life, and I feel sorry. :(

Just keep going, no matter what.

achittick's picture
I also grew up with a loving

I also grew up with a loving family! In fact, my mother actually counciled "at risk" teens, so I read every eating disorder pamphlet ever published!

I know the feeling of having no "reason" to look to for blame.
I think the causes were definitely internal, and your parents can love you to death, but if you don't love yourself (no matter what the reason), it doesn't matter.

brittaH20's picture
Ditto. I was loved. Never

Ditto. I was loved. Never abused. Parents are still married (and love each other). I'm best friends with my siblings. Have a loving husband. I remember my mom being on Weight Watchers a few times growing up, but she never ever pushed her diet on me or indicated my weight was not perfect. I have no excuses. But I am turning it around now. I am learning to love myself and appreciating everyone in my life and all I have been given. I can be a better person starting NOW :)

No binge tastes as good as HEALTHY FEELS!

aimzmarie's picture
Yeah I'm just the same.

Yeah I'm just the same. Loving family and parents still together.
I think mine came from me comparing myself all the time to my two older sisters who were always classed as 'stunning' and that they could be models - and I always felt inadaquate. I know now thats not the case and I am who I am but I always put that pressure on myself - I had to be the same, slim and have a boyfriend. It never did me any favors as I don't think I really did want I wanted - and what I thought I should. No-one put that pressure on me but me. And i feel guilty too for doing that to myself and other have much bigger problems than me - and I still developed and ED.
Now - I haven't had a boyfriend since my ED - 4years. I want to get to know myself first and concentrate on me. I know that now - so don't worry - I think that there are many reasons for this to happen. Its just getting through this now xx

Harry10's picture
Yes I come from a loving,

Yes I come from a loving, stable family. We all get on really well. Never any problems more than the usual sibling quarrels.
Similar situation to aimzmarie - a really good looking older sister! I was the tomboy, taller and maybe thats where all this started - I dont really know.

Anyone else a middle child??

Harry :)

aimzmarie's picture
Me!! I'm middle child!!

Me!! I'm middle child!! Always felt forgotton!!

I am Lisa
I am Lisa's picture
Me too, loving and stable

Me too, loving and stable family. No crisis, divorces, violence or maltreatment at all. I also feel guilty about having such a blessed life and still suffer. My mother was bulimic thou, I was an overweight child. My family was very result and elite driven. High achievers, careers, that kind of thing. I am the youngest and felt a lot of pressure. Maybe that have something to do with it.

I take one day at a time to overcome something
that has been forever on my mind

lonelily_me's picture
My family was the same,

My family was the same, loving, not much fighting, and my parents are still together. But I figured I developed ed because no one in my family ever really let their emotions show, so ed was a way of getting rid of unwanted emotions. I was never supposed to be anything but happy and do what my parents wanted. Since I told my parents about the ed four years ago our whole family has changed and now we talk about how we're REALLY feeling and don't pretend to be people we're not. Both my parents were/are very high achievers and very work, progress oriented. I left home early because of it. I wanted to do my own thing.

bedelicious's picture
wow...surprised to see so

wow...surprised to see so many in the same boat as I am.
I too, believe that the causes were internal...comparing myself to others became a habit.
I would judge a persons value according to their apprearance...even though i knew it was wrong and my parents taught me not to.
I feel bad for my family, really. They dont know about the ED, but when they do im sure theyre going to blame themselves, and I just want to say its not their fault at all, that we were all just unlucky.

Makes me wonder how were suppose to raise children, if we teach them our best and they still take the wrong path. One of the reasons why I dont want to become a parent.

Just keep going, no matter what.

bedelicious's picture
BTW, Harry, aimzmarine, is it

BTW, Harry, aimzmarine, is it true that middle children tend to feel the most neglected??

I for one, am the youngest of 2 children so there wasnt much competetion...but I did believe at one point that my brother was favored by both my parents, and as a result hated all of them. With hindsight though, I realize I was being totally paranoid. My parents loved us both equally.

Just keep going, no matter what.

aimzmarie's picture
I don't know if its proven -

I don't know if its proven - just an additional fact I think Harry found. I think its more common that middle children develop because they are in the 'middle' and compare themselves to the older ones and never are the 'little' or 'baby of the family. Hence the term 'middle child syndrome' because they are alway fighting for attention.
But given you felt your brother was the favourite could be a reason and felt undervalued. :0) its difficult for parents I guess - I'm one of 4 kids so thats a lot of people to fight attention for. And kids can mean - and it can affect you when you're a bit older sometimes.
Its not our families fault at all. Its just one of those things that has happened. I still don't think I know the reason why(emotionally). I don't know if I ever will. But just keep on getting better is the main thing x

bedelicious's picture
Hmm, interesting...I actually

Hmm, interesting...I actually always envied middle children because they have the comfort of having an older sibling yet can also learn to be mature because of their younger sibling. But i guess everything has their downsides too.

I dont think ill ever know the real cause of the ED as well....Maybe it was the diet article that I read on a magazine or a friends innocent remark about my size...i think it was a combination of all of those little incdents that lead me to develop this ED.

Thx All!

Just keep going, no matter what.

Sadie345's picture
I also grew up in a loving,

I also grew up in a loving, financially stable home. I am also the youngest, with two older brothers, and thankful I never had a sister to compare myself too as I know that is exactly what I would have done. My family fought a lot growing up and I had a lot of fights with my brothers; probably more violent and more often than most families but I wouldnt class it as abuse in any way. My parents are still together and I now have a great relationship with all of them. My mum was slim but never dieted or worried about food or weight. My brothers called me 'chubby' when I was 12 or 13 but it never bothered me and by the time I actually developed an eating disorder I had lost all that puberty chub anyway.

I have no idea where my ED came from.... one year I was a happy-go-lucky 15 year old with a great relationship with food, and the next year I was a miserable, isolated 16 year old with an eating disorder. It was almost as if there was a switch in my head that suddenly flicked to "eating disorder" because it seriously felt like it was overnight

freakyblonde88's picture
"I have no idea where my ED

"I have no idea where my ED came from.... one year I was a happy-go-lucky 15 year old with a great relationship with food, and the next year I was a miserable, isolated 16 year old with an eating disorder. It was almost as if there was a switch in my head that suddenly flicked to "eating disorder" because it seriously felt like it was overnight"

I can relate to this quote.. I too grew up in an extremely loving home, number 8 out of 11 siblings though, so maybe that affected stuff, moved away from home when I was 16 tho, and I wonder if staying in that loving atmosphere may have helped prevent my ED...

I also went overnight from being healthy and fine and to suddenly realizing that I had bulimia... Scary stuff....

Life is too short to not be happy

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