B/P routine?

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Gg 86
Gg 86's picture
B/P routine?

I'm just wondering if anyone else has a certain B/P routine that they generally follow? Recently, I have started getting into the habit of making all my B/P food, sitting down in my kitchen or living room, and watching Sex and City as I eat all the food. Weird I know :/ but I think it's just because I love the show and it's a good distraction. Then as I am vomiting, I sometimes listen to my ED music playlist, I guess as a comfort to not feel alone and to not feel like I'm the only one going through this.

Sometimes my B/P's are frantic and not this structured, but that doesn't happen too much anymore. Usually, when I have the urge to B/P, I just start the routine instead of fighting it. The longer I fight it, the more anxious and crazy my head starts feeling, and so I just start my routine and it calms me down.

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."

iambeautiful
iambeautiful's picture
Why are you asking this? It

Why are you asking this? It doesn't feel very recovery orientated? xxx

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." Thomas Edison

kittycat
kittycat's picture
I think she is asking this

I think she is asking this because she wants to know that shes not the only one who is struggling with recovery. I read so many blogs and messages and it seems that everyone but me is making progress. I can relate to Gg 86, giving into a binge is easier than fighting it, im not condoning this, Im just happy to know im not the only one struggling with the urges.

kelley23
kelley23's picture
I too have a routine.

I understand where you are coming from. When I am really struggling I tend to have a whole routine with my b/p. Doesn't surprise me though b/c I am a very routine person. I guess our personalities come out even in the way we b/p. I do think it is important for us to break the routine though. I find that my b/p sometimes becomes more of a habit than anything else. I have to be very proactive in changing my routine to a healthy one.

Please don't feel bad for posting this. I didn't feel like you mentioned anything inappropriate. I have read a whole lot worse things on here than this. You keep trying to figure out what and why you are doing what you are doing. Be proactive in finding healthy ways to change your routine and behaviors.

Gg 86
Gg 86's picture
To iambeautiful, yes I didn't

To iambeautiful, yes I didn't post this in hopes of finding new B/P tips or anything. I hope you weren't offended. I was just wondering about the routine, because I feel so weird sometimes for having one. It makes me wonder "do I actually have a real problem, or is this just a routine for me?" but I know that isn't true. And as Kelley said about the routine personality type, I am definitely the same way. It has been especially brought out recently, ever since I found out that my parents are on the verge of being separated. I have gotten into a much more routine habit with my B/P's, cleaning my apartment, and organizing at work. I know it's because there are hurtful things that are completely out of my control right now, so I am trying to feel in control and calm by having different routines. If I don't have at least these, then I'll feel like everything in my life is out of control.

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."

kelley23
kelley23's picture
OCD

Just wondering if you have OCD. I am on medication for mine but none of them really work on the obsessiveness of cleaning, organizing, routines, etc. My doctors all feel like if I could get better with my OCD that the eating disorder would get better. I don't know just something for you to think about.

shotgunxsinner7
shotgunxsinner7's picture
I prepare the food, go to my

I prepare the food, go to my room and sit on the floor so I don't get crumbs on my bed. Then I watch whatever is on Netflix. Its usually a comedy show/stand up so I don't feel so pathetic and alone. After food is gone (or when my body is painfully aching) I pause the show, walk to the bathroom, clean up, then continue with the comedy.

becks23
becks23's picture
I think the b/p routine is a

I think the b/p routine is a major hurdle in recovery. Like if you b/p at a certian time of the day, every day, it's hard to stop. It's like "what do I do now?" I used to b/p every day after work, have a nap, eat dinner, purge, make some excuse of why I was going out, buy more food, and spend the whole night in my room b/ping and watching TV. I haven't done this in I don't even know how long (over a month!) but it's about breaking the routine and finding something else to do.

Gg 86
Gg 86's picture
Response to kelley23

Hi Kelley! No, I don't have OCD. I definitely have some obsessive tendencies, and I do dwell/worry about things too much sometimes, but not to the point of OCD, no. That does make sense though what your doctors said....how if your OCD is brought under control, your ED would be brought under control as well. So you just take medication for it? Do you also do CBT or any other kind of therapy?

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."

Gg 86
Gg 86's picture
Correction

Correction...I dwell/worry about things too much all the time LOL. I actually think that's one of the reasons for my ED. It "helps" me not worry about relationship and family and work issues because I just focus all my anxiety onto the ED and losing weight instead.

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."

iambeautiful
iambeautiful's picture
No worries Gg86, :) I was

No worries Gg86, :) I was just wondering. I think a lot of us are big worriers too. I think a good thing for me to do was to take away the routine to it. Like for example. If your a bedroom binger go to the living room/longue, or opposite. Being with people around the time really helps me. :)
Hope this is an insight
xxx
(BTW by the way LOvE your profile picture. You look BEAUTIFUL in it :P just joking, though that cat is pretty. )

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." Thomas Edison

Sasha
Sasha's picture
I don't think I really have a

I don't think I really have a routine, but I definitely relate to the obsessive tendencies. I always clean obsessively after a b/p.
Part of it is about cleaning up the "evidence", even though my family already knows about my ED, but I think a lot of it is about cleaning up the shame and embarassment that I feel. It's also about taking back control, after feeling so out of control.
It's strange, it's like after I b/p, I get this burst of energy. That is when I start cleaning obsessively. It's almost as if I get a high from it, like a drug. I think that's why it's so hard o stop.

Scarlet Bones
Scarlet Bones's picture
This is indeed recovery

This is indeed recovery related

Its about breaking the cycle guys.

I know I have defo have a b/p routine too - reading or internet whilst eating.

♥ ♥ 'To be Perfect is to be Imperfect' ♥ ♥

kelley23
kelley23's picture
Meds only.

I am currently just on meds because I can't afford counseling. I am barely making it financially because of the bulimia. In the past I have been to inpatient treatment 6 times, outpatient therapy by the same therapist for 4 years, outpatient therapy with different counselors through the years, and even had ECT treatments. ECT were supposed to help with my depression but all they did was make me forget some things. Meds have never really worked for me but my doctors keep thinking we will find the right one for me. I am not very hopeful in them finding one that works but I try to just do what they tell me when it comes to the meds.

At Sasha-funny you mentioned that you obsessively clean after a b/p. I felt like I was reading something I would write. I do the same thing. It is my way of trying to gain back control and trying to erase the shame. Plus I think what I do is disgusting and I am normally a clean person so everything has to be deep cleaned from top to bottom including myself.

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