Can this actually be recovery! :' (

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amiarosel
amiarosel's picture
Can this actually be recovery! :' (

I am ready to give up!
I have heard of so many people that have a month or more free of binging after starting recovery before their first "relapse".
What! I guess that means I am a big fat failure.
I don't think I can say I have had a "relapse" because I hardly experienced any kind of improvement in the first place.
I binge to some degree everyday. Whether it be a small one in the last moments before I go to bed. Or intermittently all day.
I physically and mentally felt better for a short time because I was eating better. It is the first time I have tried structured eating without restriction in mind.

But I was binging less before I started this program!

I don't hear that from anyone else who has sucessfully recovered.
I want this hell to stop!
I eat more, I still binge, I eat less, I still binge. I starve, I still binge.
I have had problems with eating for too long to ever recover I guess.
I am not a peron I am a disorder.
I am not just an eating disorder.
I have not been okay since before I was ten years old.
I was born already stuffed up probably.
There is too much wrong with me.
:'(
I am sorry for the negativity. I don't wish to bring anyone else down.
I just want be okay, feel some hope and know that I do have a future that doesn't consist mostly of pain.
I wish all of you here on Bulimia Help the best for your recovery ♡

Teensy88
Teensy88's picture
You can recover. You

You can recover. You CAN.

Have you considered getting a coach? Have you got a proper recovery buddy on the site or in real life to support you?

If you need someone to talk to please PM me..

There is always hope!
Xx

Teensy

somethingblooming
somethingblooming's picture
Don’t give up Amia! Some

Don’t give up Amia!
Some people have a month or so free of bingeing – other people continue to binge quite regularly for months! I think its really important to try and remember that the goal for now is structured eating and not restricting, rather than trying to stop bingeing! I know that I struggle with overeating and bingeing and I’m at 19 days of structured eating today! I’m counting the days I do structured eating and commit to recovery – not the days I am binge-free because then I would just feel discouraged!

Have you ever listened to Jen Knaebel’s recovery interview? It really helped me! She was still bingeing quite far into her recovery process but she stuck with SE and is now fully recovered with no binge urges! That is the goal!

You are an amazing, kind, strong person Amia and you deserve to recover just as much as anyone else here! You can do it! Just stick with it and I am CERTAIN the binges will reduce. But try not to base your recovery on that for now – base it on structured eating and how well you can do that! I’m here for you gorgeous! You can do this! Lots of love xoxo

"I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”

Coach Jen
Coach Jen's picture
Please don't give up! Like

Please don't give up! Like 'Teensy' says, maybe you just need some extra guidance or support. I would be more than happy to work with you if you are interested in having a recovery coach. I've worked with many people who are in a similar situation who just can't seem to get started. In fact, my own recovery was actually quite similar. I avoided structred eating like crazy. I didn't understand it and it was terrifying, so I thought I was making a big effort but in reality I hadn't made many changes yet. It was once I truly adopted SE that things changed for me. There are coaching spots available if you are intereted. Otherwise be sure and reach out to other members on here for help. You CAN do it! I truly believe that everyone can!

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