can only seem to manage 3 days

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giraffelaura's picture
can only seem to manage 3 days

Hi all
I feel quite despondent at the moment and frustrafrustrations with my self. I can only seem to manage 3 binge free days and then it all goes to pot.

I keep focusing on food and my next meal all throughout the day despite reuglalry eating good portion sized meals. Then either my internal stress creeps up on me or the house is empty or I just can't say no to the urges. I know binging is going to make me suicidal and feel completely worse but I wstill follow the orders of the urge.

I don't want this in my life any more but I feel so out of control.

Be still and know that I am God

natascha's picture
Hi, Congratulations! Three

Three days binge and purge free!
Celebrate your succes and do focus on that!

Every moment you can start a nieuw.

If you are suicidal because of a binge say no, say never and no
in the name of your higher power,God (for me Jesus Christ).
say no to this destructief force and move on.T
ry till you succed again,
no matter how long.
You are precious and worth of healing!!!!!
Give not up,



natascha's picture
I dont know if I have

I dont know if I have offended you,but it was not my purpose.
I want to encourage you and hope you are feeling a little better right now.
I am in the same position, not going long without bingeing and purging.
But I will count the good days,too.
How are you now?
want to share?


giraffelaura's picture
Sorry for the late reply you

Sorry for the late reply you didn't offend me at all, in fact, thank you for your kind encouragement.

I'm currently 5 days binge purge free.

However today I have eaten a lot probably more than what was required, someone had baked so I had some brownie and shortbread and I had a large dinner and pudding.

I haven't biged which to me is great however my restrictive mind set is making me feel terribly guilty and Fay and greedy for what I have eaten. How do you not give into he urges that tell you, 'you've eaten naughty foods now so you might as well go all out and have a binge on those types of foods'?

I haven't yet... But my gosh it has been a battle fighting the urges.

Be still and know that I am God

supernatural.lady's picture
Hey there The key for me to

Hey there

The key for me to stop the cycle was to commit to not purging. I did binge a few times after that but because I knew I couldnt purge, things didnt get as out of control as they would if I could vomit it away. I then hsd to sit with the horrible feeling of being so full and knowing I had to digest the food. This only happened a handful of times because it was awful. Over the next four months or so I continued to eat more than I was comfortable with but I knew it was because of the long term restricting, my body thought it was starving and it was only through eating and digesting what I ate that I could teach it otherwise.
I am now over 6 months into REAL recovery and can say it was all worth it. I know I broke the cycle. I do still binge purge occasionally but it is my last hurdle. My weight is dropping now through normal eating and exercise and i never want to go back to where i was.

Not sure if this will work for you but promising to myself to not purge was the key for my recovery

All the best

Kelly - this time its real

giraffelaura's picture
Thank you for your own story

Thank you for your own story and support.

I think this is the key isn't it - just holding out there until the days pass into weeks and until they turn into months. Hopefully my weight will settle, I'll eat more intuitively and I'll reach my set point.

Just fighting the daily battle and fears of weight gain is so frustrating.

Be still and know that I am God

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