Cruelty

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donutseeds
donutseeds's picture
Cruelty

Ive gained small amount of weight Husband wants me to owe XX pounds, which would make me sick. I actually just started my period for the first time in years. Maybe I needed to gain. He doesn't want me anymore.

freakyblonde88
freakyblonde88's picture
Wait, what?? That post sounds

Wait, what??
That post sounds crazy. You've gained weight and now he doesn't want you anymore?

Firstly are you 100% sure? Secondly if that is the case then something's gotta give. Your life cannot be in jeopardy cause someone else cannot accept your weight.

I hope you find a balance and soe clarity in your situation.

*Hugs*

Life is too short to not be happy

Angel333
Angel333's picture
If he wants you to look a

If he wants you to look a certain way then ditch him! Sounds far too controlling to me.

'We are each of us angels with only one wing, so we can only fly by embracing each other'

natascha
natascha's picture
Please let us know how you

Please let us know how you are doing.
Can you confront your husband with the fact that you are in recovery of bulimia and not restricting food is the only way to get better?
Can you talk with him, maybe together with a person you trust or a therapist?
Dont give up structured eating and your recovery.
You are doing the best thing for yourself and need a safe environment to continue!!!
Greetings,
Natascha

Natascha

Thalelia
Thalelia's picture
Seriously, did he really

Seriously, did he really comment on your weight even though he knows that you are struggling with ED? Wow... I can imagine how I had felt... I really feel for you.

Do you think his comment is due to lack of knowledge or does he simply not care enough about your well being? Because if it is the latter, then sadly he might not be the man you would want to have by your side through life's ups and downs. You deserve so much better! Having gained some weight is exactly what your body needed; clearly it is telling you so by giving you back your period, which is so important for your bone density and hormonal stabilization. You need to continue eating, not cutting down on calories!

This may sound "egocentric", but you are the most important person in your life, you know... And you deserve happiness and love, from yourself as well as your partner! Right now, it seems like he cannot offer you that in an unconditional way. If he loves you only for your appearance, then he needs to reconsider what's important in life...

Do you think he would be willing to come with you to an ED-therapist who also specializes in communication between couples? If you can afford it, of course. Sadly, my partner was not able to support me in my recovery and he was not willing to come with me to this type of therapist. We tried couples therapy, but that did not work because the therapist did not understand eating disorders and she usually took his side and labelled me too sensitive, which only led to me getting worse from my ED. I am all about giving your partner a chance but if this continues it will be very detrimental for your health and recovery I think. I hope you have other people who offer support if he cannot.

Please let us know how you are.

With love, Thalelia

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