Disappointing people

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princess81
princess81's picture
Disappointing people

I just feel like, especially at this time of year and mainly because the eating disorder gets worse (always), that I am constantly letting people down by cancelling on them. So many social things on, and i just want to curl up in a ball and cry coz a) my tummy hurts so much and b) coz i am so disgusted at myself for not having more control. And this in turn causes me more guilt for letting my friends down. I feel like soon i will have no friends left.
Does this happen to anyone else at this time of year?

lindsay6
lindsay6's picture
These are all the reasons why

These are all the reasons why we are all here. So awful that bulimia controls our lives. Enough is enough and time for change is how I started. Bulimia is a lonely place to be.

When you are going through hell, keep going.

katzcurrent
katzcurrent's picture
I used to feel this way

I used to feel this way throughout the year and I'm still this way during the holidays - not due to food so much as other emotional reasons. My friends and family are used to it at this point, and I've proven to them that I always 'come around' again as winter turns into spring. I haven't lost any relationships due to my early-winter avoidance.

Think of it this way: we all have friends who are night owls who can't be counted on for an early morning hike; we all have morning bird friends who won't hang out after an evening movie; and so, maybe you are one of those spring/summer/fall people, who are is a good friend most of the year but withdraw during certain seasons. It's just the rhythm of things. At the core, we're all mammals with unique forms of vulnerabilities and strengths.

Make life easy on yourself! Your friends and family will get used to it as the years go by.

hugs,
KC

red wine
red wine's picture
I used to do the same; just

I used to do the same; just cancel out the meetings, not calling them back, npt answering to even my old grands phone!! Just talking to my vionce.

I suffer for about 3 years now and i cannor believe what i become.

Hate myself, hate nuts and cookies as well

thanks for help

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