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Addicted2yogurt's picture

I was wondering if this Ed affects your work and social life too or am I the only one??

mickey25's picture
i think it made me throw

i think it made me throw myself into work/school even more just as a distraction from ED... so i actually excelled in those areas...

my social life has crashed and burned since my bulimia got bad. i gained a ton of weight and had no confidence so i stopped going out. i used to go out like 4 nights a week but now its maybe once a month if theres a special occasion. i just cant cope with people seeing me this big :/

what a waste huh? i know i deserve to go out and have fun but im too self conscious to do it

Suicide At 5mph
Suicide At 5mph's picture

I couldn't go to school in the beginning nor go out but I've learned how to function with an eating disoder now and people are just stumped of what to do with me.

Courtneyyyy14's picture

I have been thinking about this issue a lot this weekend. All my friends went out partying and I sat inside on the couch binging and purging all night both Friday and Saturday. I can't go out because before I binge my mind is consumed by the thought and after I feel gross and don't want people to see me. I'm so ashamed about it, this ED has turned me into someone I'm not. I look for isolation so I can obsess and eat food...I used to go out and live my life. I have made the decision to go out both nights next weekend and I am going to force myself to be social, I think if I work really hard at not binging and purging this week then it will be less of a habit and the urge to do it won't be as strong by Friday. I'm going to use the gym as my outlet for stress so I don't turn to food to cope. Right now I can't even do my homework because I am so stuck on food. I ate a lot today and now I'm bored and I want to eat, but if I do I know I'll puke because I'm over my limit for lunch. Food and weight consume my mind and thoughts all the time, it doesn't matter what distraction I choose. The instinct to turn to food has become a bad habit and I am going to break it this week. I'm determined!

Too Damn Good To Let This Tear Me Down

bluestickienotes99's picture

I hardly ever go out anymore! I always feel so depressed about my weight that my social life sucks now. My grades are starting to suffer now too. :(

"I'm halfway to happy now, and I always mistake it for progress."

alexi's picture
a good social

When i work, all my effort goes into it. When it comes to my days off, all i can do is rest. It never lasts though, i cant actually function after a while and i start to go down hill with my bulimia and my mental state. I get very down.
With my social bulimia has stopped me going out on many, many occasions. I have found that forcing myself to go out for a while and socialising does the world of good. Although i spend about 2 hours horribly looking for clothes that fit me, or i look good in, after the stress of that, a good night or day with your friends just lifts you up. Sometimes i am really bad and wont go out or try any of my clthes on out of pure fear. My social life is ok (at the moment) but my work life has burnt out.

Start to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul.

caitlin1988's picture
I tend to call in sick or leave early....

I leave work and social gatherings to go b/p. I have to stay away from the vending machines and any sort of food stuff at work or else I will be late back from lunch because I am too busy puking. It's hard to try and keep from doing that, and its hard because I work at a large place and people are always going in and out of the restroom.

"Wow, look how beautiful I am."

rhue's picture
I have NO social life-- my

I have NO social life-- my friends all know me as a "flake" bc I commit to plans when I am not binging, and inevitably I binge Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun-- meaning, I spend time with my food and not my friends.
Also, I steal food from my coworkers and boss-- nothing much, but candies they have hidden away for themselves. It is getting noticable. I had to leave my last job bc it was so obvious it was me, and so humiliating.

caz1987's picture
lol cool pic by the way

lol cool pic by the way ;)
you made me remember when i used to work at the nursing home i used to steal the old people's chocolates and biscuits they'd been given for xmas from their families and friends, it was so tempting and i couldnt help it, bulimia made a thief !
and when it was their birthday and their birthday cake was left over for the staff in the kitchen guess what by the time i'd gone home there was no cake left how bad is that ! nobody knows until this day...

till this day i steal people's food this, i know it sounds funny but it aint right


becks23's picture
It for sure makes my social

It for sure makes my social life suck. I lie to my friends all the time saying things like "I have a lot of homework" or when I am out with friends I make up weird excuses to buy cookies or whatever. Whenever I do go out with friends and food is involved I eat minimally and healthily because I know they wont let me go to the bathroom after a meal but I can't stand the comments "no wonder you're so thin you eat like a bird." I find going out for meals super triggering because I don't know how they were prepared and it often leads to a binge for me. If I do go out with friends I like to try and make sure there wont be any eating involved because it's what's best for me...I'm very antisocial now that I'm b/ping several times a day.

Coach Jen
Coach Jen's picture
Oh yeah, if I have plans then

Oh yeah, if I have plans then I eat too much I don't want to go out because I think people will notice that I look fat. Its all in my head though, so I'm working on that!

Miss H
Miss H's picture
It destroys my social life!

It destroys my social life! And work is so hard when there is so much cake and biscuits and junk junk junk around.

xoxmandeex3's picture
completely affects both. i

completely affects both. i dont go to school much. some weekends i wont go out because i'm either b/p'ing or i think i look fat and bloated because that whole week i have been b/p'ing and i dont want ppl to see me like that. work ive never called off but some days when i'm b/p'ing and then have to go to work i go into work looking like drowned shit and i am rude to everyone because i hate myself so much. fuck ED

belscout's picture
Social sucks

I hate going out now, i feel so uncomfortable in my skin. and i hate being around food or going to someones house for dinner, because i have no control. It drives my husband nuts, but he doesnt understand. He has OCD problems, but can function better than i can. Work is ok, because it keeps me away from food! I've actually been spending more time there so im not at home stuffing my face.

kacy924's picture
sometimes good sometimes bad

I use Bulimia as a distraction/ coping mechanism, but I also use school and work, so my school/ work life doesn't suffer too much.

Socially things can go either way. If I do go out, it's best if it is a party or bar, as opposed to a potluck or restaurant. I definitely relate to the trying on outfits for 2 hours, but when I go I usually have fun. Potlucks and dinner are more difficult. If I am in a restaurant it is a bit easier finding a place to purge, but friend's houses are more difficult. If it is a loud party, then I'm ok (no one hears me). But if it is quiet, I always leave right after the meal to go home to purge. In these situations I don't necessarily binge, but I eat more than I am comfortable with (though not more than my friends).

I have missed social things though because I have stayed home to binge and purge, but I try to minimize this.

smileyness123's picture

I dont really go out anymore. Because i always feel like purging, i cant eat anything when im out. I cant just go into a bathroom and spend 20 minutes in there without people getting suspicious, so i tend to not go out and if i do, i dont eat anything, whiich in turn makes people suspicous.


"Just because today is a terrible day doesn't mean that tomorrow wont be the best day of your life. You just gotta get there."

giselle's picture
i tend to plan my

i tend to plan my binges/purges around when my parents are out (as it feels like my release, my freedom to do whatever i want and indulge in it), but as a result this opportunism gets in the way of my social life. i will plan things around my binge. many of my friends see me as ridiculously unreliable. often i will go out anyway, take things to get me there because i'm always so exhausted from the vomitting, then drag myself into work the next day where i feel like my head is in another place and all i want to do is crawl home and sleep.

i think the hardest thing is hiding it from people. because of my dramatic mood swings coupled with always having to carry myself off as the happy people-pleasing social butterfly, i hide myself away and make myself uncontactable when my moods swing low. the moods make it hard to work out who you really are, as there is no middle ground and i think a characteristic of us bulimics is to be love-hate towards things, not only with food but with ourselves and our relationships with.

for me bulimia is ultimately about deep shame, and the thought of other people knowing makes me feel so anxious and horrifically exposed.

i am really going to start working towards release from this suffocating thing, as hard as it may be.

"A fish rots from the head"

kazza26's picture

yes defo,esp social its my mates little girls party soon.there be loads of food there and il be expected to eat friend gets hurt if you dont eat her food.the party isnt about me and i dont want to ruin i made some excuse for not going.if it wasnt for that id probably go,but if i go and eat il be paranod all day over what id eaten and how many calories i had assumed.also because i follow an exercise routine that too would be interrupted and id panic not being able to exercise.kind of like how an alcoholic feels when they cant access their fix

Footy's picture
It's hard for me to go out

It's hard for me to go out now because I feel fat in my own skin and I've been making up excuses not to go out with friends which I barely see any more except a few of my closest...and even then not that much. I find it hard to talk to people but I don't know if its my personality or from mood swings / tiredness I can't tell what is from this ED orwhats not...its hard to find the real me now adays under everything!!!! I know everyone suspects of something I used to not eat around my friends and when I did eat i would eat everything and then make an excuse to go home. If I go drinking I end up eating too much and then wanting to puke, if I'm at work (Starbucks) I'll pretty much devour pastries, if I'm at school I end up buying food. I feel like my life is a whole big secret, and worse that I'm lying to everyone, including myself that I can get over this ED by myself.

krb9p's picture
I'm right there too with

I'm right there too with feeling like I have no social life. I always have good intentions to go out on the weekends, but since none of my good friends live in the area anymore, I don't have a strong group of girl friends to call in and it makes it so easy to make excuses to stay in and b/p. Even last night, I came home from work exhausted with no intentions of bingeing, but when I'm alone, I have no strength to fight ED. I hate myself for isolating from everyone to support this awful habit but I also know that I have some social anxiety. Does anyone else feel scared sometimes to go out and be around people that you don't know as well? I guess it boils down to worrying that I will embarrass myself or people won't like me, but I'm in this awful cycle of getting anxious over what I am going to do on the weekends so I'm not spending my weekends alone and getting anxious over being out and about with people, which then drives me to b/p to deal with the emotions. So I basically worry and stress about everything and end of spending my nights alone anyways. As I write this, my life sounds so sad. I need more self-confidence and just to make myself get out so I find that its not that hard, but without a strong group of friends, I am really struggling. Has anyone else felt this way? Any advice??

AnahataBaby's picture
Yup :(

krb9p Ive felt that way lots before :), especially when I was younger, infact its probably what brought my bulimia on. Its OK to be shy, but its a problem when its your self image that is bringing this shyness on. We all here have to learn to love and accept our bodys for what they are :) and I know that that is much more easily said then done,heck im still struggling with it. But with all the help and support available on this site, with time we will get there :)

On my side tho....
My bulimia forces me into depressions that range in length. Its so sad because I distance myself from everybody that cares for me like my family,friends and amazing boyfriend and I know it hurts them. But I am just so ashamed at what I do, and at how undignified b/p is to me because of the lack of all self control that I cant help but push everyone away. I haven't told anybody about my bulimia...which often leads me to feel very very alone even when im with people, as its all I ever think about lately...but Im hoping this site will help with that :).Also these depressions stop me from involving myself in everything from schoolwork to exercise...which is really unhealthy and most definatly doesnt help my body image :(, but I just cant help how demotivated I feel because of my bulimia

dream_on's picture
Im okay at work but I do end

Im okay at work but I do end up purging there pretty often so in that sense it does affect it

As far as a social life, I don't really have one...Ive always been really shy and uncomfortable so keeping friends has been kind of an issue, but I feel like ive lost all social skills and i just don't know how to interact with people anymore and it sucksss

Brynjana's picture
I have a difficult time going

I have a difficult time going out because I can never find an outfit that feels comfortable on me and gives me confidence. Also, if alcohol is involved, it is ALWAYS a trigger for me, this goes for drinking at home as well. I can't drink or I will B/P all night. The fatigue and mood swings affect both my work and social life because I can be so tired sometimes and I tend to isolate myself quite a bit.

anonymous.'s picture
Yes! I hate going to the

I hate going to the beach, or the pool, or anywhere where I know people will see my body. Even if I'm having a skinny day, where I have been restricting a lot I still feel too ashamed to go. I will cry if my boyfriend or friends ask me to go to the beach after I have just eaten breakfast. I want to go out and enjoy my life but I feel like going to the beach is a privilege I will get once I am skinny.

At work, I binge a lot, or I don't eat enough and my energy is so low. On my breaks I will sit there and write down on a napkin what I have eaten, and what I plan on eating for the rest of the day, I am so embarrassed about it, I try and hide it when anyone walks by.

My mood swings are awful, I feel like no one wants to be around me sometimes.

anonymous.'s picture
I also have to pass up plans

I also have to pass up plans if I need to go to the gym or if I have a therapy or dietitian appointment. I hate letting other people see me eat. I feel like I am judged when I don't eat, and when I do eat around the people that know I have a problem, I feel like they think I am just making this whole thing up for attention.

Shangrila's picture
omg! bulimia definitely

omg! bulimia definitely impacted my social life..and my relationships. I've lost two relationships due to it. I haven't had a holiday dinner with family in years because of it. I avoid going out with friends for lunch..the list goes on and on of things I "can't" do because it would involve eating. Sigh. The problem is that it has caused so much loneliness for me, as I'm sure it does for many of us. Last summer my friend wanted me to come over to her pool and have pizza. I wanted so badly to go..but..yeah..I stayed home. I couldn't deal with a piece of pizza.
Of course, she didn't know, so she thought I was just being mean and didn't like her.
I've also had some work problems in the past, when a nurse at the assisted living I worked at happened to put clues together about me. She went to the director and I got called into the office! I was so embarrassed.

zaphia's picture
I tend to go out to eat only

I tend to go out to eat only when I know I can get home and purge... at least that way I know I can maintain my weight. I once went out for dinner with a friend of mine and ordered a lot of food and even dessert. But it didnt get digested really so I was able to come home and purge it all quite easily :-/ am sick!

I have often had friends over and eaten with them ...then said something like I feel so grotty and gone and purged in the bathroom. As I am eating with them I just eat a normal meal and don't binge. So it doesnt take that long to get it all out.

But yeah very often I refuse to go out because am trying to lose a few ...

ruby2223's picture
there have been many times

there have been many times when i have left parties or the bar early beacause i wanted to go home and b/p. then i do and spend a shit ton of money and feel like hell. then i stay in my room because i am too depressed and ashamed and feel too fat to go out and socialize. i am trying really hard to stay positive and feel confident and just have fun. i am really lucky to have such great friends in my life who at least i hope love me for who i am. and i know it's not the healthiest thing but i drink a lot and use other things for a bit of courage to keep me out and going. i havent had a boy friend in years because i live such a weird secret life and don't want anyone to be a part of it.

it really helps to know there are other people who go through this too so although i know these behaviors aren't normal at least im not the fucked up freak i often think i am

Blingong's picture
Oh dear, im exactly the

Oh dear, im exactly the same......... :(
Wish we can talk online.

Michelleroser's picture
Yes! I had to drop out of

Yes! I had to drop out of college when My ED was at it's worse, and I've recently had to quit my job because recovery is generally very painful because of the damage I've done to my body. I'd be at uni now if I didn't have my ED, but that just makes me want to recover more. Having an ED affects every part of your life, but it's nothing that can't be made better by recovery, it's a great incentive :)

Cat24's picture
Hello everyone, this is my

Hello everyone, this is my first post, but I can identify with all of you and it's such a relief to finally read other peoples thoughts and feelings so that I know I'm not alone or crazy. My battle with ED's (I had anorexia and have now developed bulimia) has effected my life drastically, I have had to withdraw from two separate universities before completing my studies because of my ED's, I have left many jobs because the people I worked with got too close to me and started asking questions. At this moment in time I may potentially loose my job because my mood swings have been so serve and difficult to control that I have been a nightmare to work with, I'm exhausted all the time and people are mentioning my weight. Unfortunately, I still look underweight as I never fully regained enough weight to look healthy before the bulimia kicked in. In short over the last 5 years I have done everything to self-destruct.

I don't particularly have a social life as many of my old friends moved on with their lives while I was busy hiding from the world . Many have moved away to start careers or we have simply lost touch because I have not been around for so long. But I have reached the tipping point now, I can either spend the rest of my time wallowing in self pity, and doing nothing about it, or I can change.

In joining this site I have chosen to change. I think if I can bring myself back from anorexia, I can beat bulimia, and I believe in time everything else will fall into place. I don't want to spend my time thinking about what I could have done if i'd never had ED's because I have had ED's and they have made me who I am. All I want to think of now is how great my life will be from now on without them, obviously one small step at a time, but it's one step further than I was yesterday :)

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