Excited to be back!

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neenaa
neenaa's picture
Excited to be back!

Hi everyone. I have not been on here in quite some time, but I wanted to just post and say that I am very excited to be back.

I had a total all out binge session the other night after going back to a few weeks of calorie counting and a ton of exercise. It was weird how quickly my binge eating erupted after being on the obsessive path once again of trying to lose weight. I did the worst thing ever and signed up for a 90 day challenge at the gym. I knew going into it, it was a terrible idea, but I guess I just got desperate.

Anyhow, after re-reading this section on SE and IE I was reminded what worked for me in the past. And that was to use SE until I felt safe back doing intuitive eating. Just knowing I am going to eat again in 3 hours totally calms me down and can pull me out of a binge.

Last night my mom surprised me with girl scout cookies and once again I was thrown off guard. I had planned on going back to calorie counting today and last night as I sat there binge eating the cookies thinking I would start calorie counting today it hit me that this is why I can't stop binge eating. The calorie counting only works for so long, but it eventually always leads to binge eating.

If I am to cure this problem it is by eliminating all restrictive eating and knowing that in the future I will be eating up to 6 times a day. Thank God for this program. This one is the best!

Happy to be back here and back on the road to recovery. :)

somethingblooming
somethingblooming's picture
Welcome back! I totally

Welcome back!

I totally understand where you're coming from! I remember one of my relapses really early on in recovery - I had been restricting only for around a week and a half and suddenly got a binge urge. It was such a shock because I hadn't binged in SO long because I had been doing SE. The awesome thing was that it snapped me out of the restriction - just like you!

This is a really huge achievement and I think you should be super, super proud for making that connection.

I wrote in huge letters in my journal "RESTRICTING/UNDER EATING ALWAYS LEADS TO OVEREATING/BINGEING".

And it is so true. My last relapse before reaching full recovery was the same - I restricted (even only a little) and suddenly was getting all these out of control cravings for foods I hadn't worried about in months and thoughts of bingeing. It really worked to snap me out of it again and since then I have never relapsed and am an intuitive eater now with absolutely no rules! You don't need to calorie count my love, just stick to SE and then eventually move to IE. I noticed that my appetite and favoured foods changed SO much at the end of SE, I have hungry days and less hungry days, and can tell exactly what I feel like eating. Our bodies are so smart!

Again, be really proud of yourself. Its discoveries like this that really consolidate our recovery.

xoxo
Michal

"I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”

LucyBelieves
LucyBelieves's picture
Welcome back!

Welcome back!

Lucy
There is nothing that we cannot be or do or have :)

ElsieSoproni
ElsieSoproni's picture
Wow, thanks for sharing! This

Wow, thanks for sharing! This is my first time on here in months and I haven't purged in six. There's something jinxed about six months or something because I have seen so many posts from people messing up on month six. And the last few days have been a struggle with overeating and I got to the point I really wanted to make it disappear. I didn't mess up, but I was pretty desperate. I have been thinking about how tempting the idea of calorie counting again is even though I haven't in over a year, even though I KNOW it would be a bad idea. So getting on here and seeing your post really helped me put things back in perspective and remember why that's such a bad idea. You can do this, we can do this, and life is going to be great!

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