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KTC.'s picture

HI everyone,,through years and years I've been in this situation, somehow I can't find the strength or impulse to stop and be a
"healthy eater /workout normal person", most of my life I've been struggling with the image "good looking vs not good looking" issue and that made my life so so miserable to the point that I believe that if i gain weight…..alll the things that -sliming down -brought me will go away and my life will be awful again…. honestly I would never ever want to go back to my horrible living back in my teenage and part of adult days.!!!
I will do and give everything not to have that life agai….so with that explained,, y biggest fear is gaining weight!!
I am at a healthy weight and BMI and also I am always doing medical check -ups because I live in constant worry of my health given that i am a bulimic =( .
I joined this wonderful program with the faith that finally I will find my way out and come to peace with these fears I have!!

will i get chubby if i stop?
how can i find that push or inner strength that all the people have to be normal?
will i ever stop the fear of dying?

I really need a hand or many hands to help me and guide me!!

Thank you friends in recovery!!

Sincerely yours.


freakyblonde88's picture
As long as you put so much

As long as you put so much focus on teh weight I honestly think recovery is impossible. You cannot have an obsession with being slim/skinny and recover. You have to let go. At least for a time, put health before all else, then you can begin to recover and then your body will find where it's meant to be. We're all different. I gained a bit of pudginess (minimal) but it went away, and now I weigh myself maybe twice a year, and well I basically weigh the same. And I've gone on baking sprees, enjoyed pizza, have a little chocolate treat almost everyday, and I have not gained anything, we're all different, some will gain more some less, some will loose.

Our body needs time to adjust itself and find where we're meant to be at.

But I can tell you this, I was a chubby teen as well, it wasn't that great, I was always compared to my slim sister. However I would gladly gain 10-20 pounds right now if it meant I would continue to be ED free and happy and healthy.

You have to trade that obsession with weight for recovery. Believe me it's a more then fair trade.

All the best on your endeavors.

Life is too short to not be happy

KTC.'s picture
THANK YOU!!! so so much for

THANK YOU!!! so so much for your comment!!!
I really need a testimony to relate to, in order to see that it is possible !!
I need encouragement because HONESTLY i have no will power to just go from!


Sincerely yours.


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