Feeling full

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Marie Cookie
Marie Cookie's picture
Feeling full

Dear all,

I discovered that my binges are mostly triggered by the feeling of being full. It can be the happiest, most relaxed day - when I feel full I freak out. When I eat just a little, I don't feel the urge to binge and purge at all. Feeling full makes me so uncomfortable and stressed out and the paradoxical reaction is: Eating more. I never purge when I just feel full, only when my belly is crammed. I guess in order to break the vicious circle, I need to find a way to accept that feeling of satiety, but it is so hard....

Can anyone relate to this? How do you cope with those stressful feelings?
Thanks so much.

M.C.

Rose16841
Rose16841's picture
Hey, Can totally relate to

Hey,

Can totally relate to this and this exact thing happened to me yday. I've had a fairly good week on the b/p front and was making sure I ate proper meals and not overeating and was reel working well.....but yday a friend invited me over for dinner (which is something I wud normally say no to because I like to be in control of what I eat, when and how much) but pleased with my successful few days I decided to accept the invite......this meant that I ended up feeling more full than comfortable with.....but as I'd got to this point and new it wud take a while to pass I just continued to eat and then wanted to purge. It was a reel healthy meal (homemade veg soup and apple crumble) so isn't something I wudnt normally feel guilty about eating and want to throw up but the feeling of being rele full kinda just sent me into panic mode......

So yea completely understand where you're coming from and I've realised today that the way through it is to eat small meals and often....I HATE the feeling of being full and its something I'm now scared of as I know it will trigger bad habits.....this week I've gotten through it by eating light meals such as chicken salads and making sure I eat slowly....I'm trying to be mindful of what I eat and listen to my body.....if I think something will fill me up too much I make sure I only put a small amount on my plate and know I can come back for more if I need it......also if you do get too full remember that it WILL pass and try to busy yourself. I find being alone triggers b/p habits as I have time to think about it and get into negative thinking....

Hope that kinda helps?

Rose

Jaded Lime
Jaded Lime's picture
Oh my gosh yes! I can relate.

Oh my gosh yes! I can relate. I have a serious trigger to binge the second I start to tell myself that maybe I've eaten too much or something that makes me feel bad or fat. In reality, I haven't over ate its just satiety, but it's this guilty feeling and this little voice in my head that condemns me that I have and then I think " oh what the hell. I'll just throw in the towel and stuff myself I've already "sinned" by having a little too much so now I'll really enjoy it. Oh the false lies of those thoughts! Now that I've told you that relate, I'm supposed to tell you how I've found this profound way to deal with it but I haven't yet. I'm still a major work in progress. The only thing I've done so far is to just eat and no matter what happens I choose not to purge. So this issue we are discussing is my next hill to tackle. We will have to learn together.

Love alone is worth the fight. - Jon Foreman

Rose16841
Rose16841's picture
I keep trying to remember

I keep trying to remember that its a result of my 'all or nothing' attitude and if I can overcome it once then it will become easier....
"at any given moment we have to power to say this is not how the story is going to end"....

starburst
starburst's picture
I can totally relate!! I find

I can totally relate!! I find myself feeling full and all of a sudden I have this urge to just keep going and binge. Or even the tinniest slip up of "indulgence" and the all or nothing mentality sets in and I can't stop. When it comes to being full after a meal and stopping the cycle I have found it helpful just to leave a tiny bit of food on the plate. It doesn't have to be much just one bite, and it's like somehow I gain control over it and I regain the power. I hope that helps. Stay strong x

sintensityfox
sintensityfox's picture
I also like leaving food on

I also like leaving food on the plate. Not sure why it helps. I guess its a clear signal to myself that I am full and done eating. done. walk away. go do something else.

Marie Cookie
Marie Cookie's picture
Thanks so much for your

Thanks so much for your answers guys. Is anyone of you also looking for a support buddy and up for a challenge? I'd like to stay one month binge/purge-free. Who'd like to join me?

aeryn_sun
aeryn_sun's picture
I can absolutely relate—“in

I can absolutely relate—“in for a penny, in for a pound” black-and-white thinking has been a huge contributor to perpetuating my ED behavior. The second I feel full I completely panic and start looking around for trigger foods, telling myself I needed to get rd of that food anyway, and I shouldn't have it in my house, it'll just be this last time…which, of course, is never the case. That, and seeing food as a reward my entire life has left me with a really screwed up view of what being good to myself looks like. I just keep remembering to tell myself that anything is better than the secretive, self-loathing cycle I was trapped in. I'd rather be a couple of extra pounds heavier and not have to fake my entire existence—at least that's what I tell myself, I'm hoping it'll come true. Honestly, though, nothing in the world seems as bad as that moment when I've arbitrarily decide I've had too much. I used to wear restrictive clothing in an attempt to keep myself accountable but it just made me miserable and moody—it took me months to figure out why I yelled at my boyfriend whenever I wore tights ;) Good luck and take care of yourself! :)

sintensityfox
sintensityfox's picture
That's funny! I used the same

That's funny! I used the same excuse for 'sexy clothing', now I'm wearing flattering clothes that are actually more flattering and sexy. Give up the tight clothes! At least through recovery!

starburst
starburst's picture
I'm looking for a support

I'm looking for a support buddy and up for the challenge Marie!

carmagoodwin@gm...
carmagoodwin@gmail.com's picture
I have the exact thing too...

I have the exact thing too... As soon as I feel full I somehow seem to go into autopilot mode and just stuff myself until I feel like I am going to explode.... Like rose, I try to keep my meals small and light which I manage well during the day but once my son is asleep it's really hard and a constant fight to not give in to the pull to the fridge....I try and keep myself busy, do the dishes, clean up, check my mail....wish you find strategies that work for you :)

Accounting Fairy
Accounting Fairy's picture
Same exact thing here, I am

Same exact thing here, I am so relieved to hear all of these comments because it makes me realize that it is not just me. I often question myself why feeling full makes me throw in the towel and binge. You guys have articulated my thoughts perfectly. I am also up for a recovery buddy but I am still working on a daily basis on recovery,

TJ2013
TJ2013's picture
I'm the same exact way pretty

I'm the same exact way pretty much with me beating my eating disorder im actually learning when im actually comfortablely full and even digesting my food feels weird for me been going to 2 weeks now since my last B/p episode good luck to you all on your journey's!!

whatseatingcj
whatseatingcj's picture
I can definitely r/ to this!

I can definitely r/ to this! Everytime I feel a bit 'too full' or a little over satisfied, or if I counted the calories and it didn't coincide with my meal plan (I ate differently than what is on my meal plan), I get upset and have urges to binge and/or the urge to restrict later to compensate. Sometimes, I really wish I knew how to 'other half' or 'normal eaters' do it? I feel like I don't know what a normal amount is. I've found that distracting myself directly post-meal with non-food related things (usually takes about 10 minutes to get in the groove of things) helps out tremendously. So, this is why post-breakfast I take my shower and get ready for the day. I eat lunch right before classes begin again (not opportunity to binge/purge there), and then making sure to eat dinner directly before I begin to get my affairs in order for the next day (ironing, cleaning my room, packing my school bag, brushing my teeth, washing my face, etc.) I also try to get enough sleep. During late night study sessions when my head is all foggy (seems a little bit like I'm intoxicated or delirious might be a better word) is where my strongest binge urges occur. I figure from now on when this happens, I just need to take a break and get away from food/thoughts of it. Drink tea, coffee, etc. Sometimes I just go to bed. Night/sleep-eating has also been a problem of mine (waking up in the middle of the night disoriented and just reaching for anything to binge on), and through some trial and error, I've discovered a main reason that this was happening was keeping food w/in arms reach in my room. This is a no-no! I have since decided that all of my meals should be had at the dining table, even snacks. It helps a lot. I also use Instagram to track my meals and have someone I trust check it from time to time to get some encouragement.

CJ<3

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