First day in recovery

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natascha
natascha's picture
First day in recovery

Hello I am Natascha and started today my first day of recovery.
I feel excited and hopeful.
Am bulimic for 14 years and tried lot of therapies without lasting results.
this program seems different and I feel thrilled to go through the steps of recovery.
If someone wants to connect with me I will be very happy.
First day went well without bingeing and purging till now and I feel amazed and grateful.
Also very fat and constipated.Try to accept thisand not weigh myself.
What helps you to stay on track every day ???

Greetings and love!

Natascha

giraffelaura
giraffelaura's picture
Good luck - I believe we can

Good luck - I believe we can all achieve our ultimate dream of being free from he debilitating consequences of bulimia. I am also sticking to the advise and eating what my body wants and not restricting abstaining or avoiding any food groups. I also feel bloated fat and already fear I am putting on weight but I am trusting the advice that actually I will naturally lose weight and stabilise even when eating anything I want.

Things can't reallly get any worse. I am definitely puttting on weight by bingeing so I am just going to try and go with it. What is there to lose? I'm certainly not losing weight by biging.

Be still and know that I am God

FreckledPonyFlying
FreckledPonyFlying's picture
Hi Natasha and

Hi Natasha and congratulations on making the big step! Feeling excited is absolutely in place :) I've started my recovery 9 months ago after about 13 years of being bulimic. I remember that in the first few weeks I've benefited A LOT from listening to the Mind Power audio. I was falling asleep with it, I was listening to it commuting... Then affirmations - having one, that really meant something for me - that was important too. I would find myself repeating it dozens of times per day. One of the maybe most funny, but super helpful ideas that came to my mind was to place a sticky note on my wall after every single day of not engaging into binging or purging. I've made a real ritual of it... choosing a sticky note, drawing something optimistic on it, writing some words for self-encouragement (and gratitude!)... and finally sticking it on the wall. One by one, next to each other. It was such an incredible joy to count them, to see them together, making rows... I was joking with my coach that these are the bricks of my new house, my new reality... Looking at those "bricks" in the difficult times was a reminder that I CAN survive without bulimia. Eventually, after a while, I've come to a point when I didn't need to go back to my wall every day. I've started coming back every week. Later, at some point - I took them off, treating like a big treasure, as they remain reminding me of the way I've made. They are really the bricks of where I am now. Even though I can't say that I am fully recovered yet, I know I'll eventually get there. The beginning was all about making the recovery the most important thing in my life - and surrounding myself with everything that was helpful in maintaining that attitude, regardless of how hard it was. Yep, the whole process may not be easy, but it is so worth it... so good luck, treat yourself kindly, there is no rush, and every step is a step forward xx

Freckled Pony Flying

natascha
natascha's picture
Thank you dear new friends

Thank you dear new friends for your both reactions.
It is so fine to hear from you, although I dont know your name.
Thank you so much for going this road of recovery with me every day , for your kind interest,
helping advice and love!!!
Now its the third day of not purging and I feel so happy .
My heart feels free and I get a glimpse back from hoe I really am.This beautiful me I had abandoned
for so long....
The mind audio is indeed so helpful and it is so nice to reward every binge and purge free day with something
happy.The smile on my face is such a reward for me now.
I gained a lot of weight, did overeat,but through mainly structured eating I am less absorbd by foodobsessions and I also noticed
that when I am really skinny, I cannot enjoy it,I only think to be more safe,loved,attractive,but this is a lie.
When underweight I am even more occupied with food ,weight,and fear.
Now I am normal weight and I must confess I feel more normal, I feel more my soul instead always being triggered
and possesed by anorectic thoughts.
It feels so vulnerable not to be thin.
Clothes do not fit anymore and no place to hide a female body.
And there is somebody inside, me myself I did not know anymore.
I have to find out so many things,what are my hobbies,beliefs,joys,friends....
Everything was absorbd through bulimia.
Now there is some new unknown land,space,time in me and I wonder how to fill it....
I feel empty and tired, but happy and thankful to be on this good way to getting my life and health back!!!
Thank you for sharing and good luck today,every day.
Natascha

Natascha

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