I think I've narrowed down one of the biggest psychological/mental reasons I have for continuing to binge, and it is that I'm afraid of losing the bitter sugar free fall I seem to perceive as my only remaining source of "freedom". I'm afraid if I give up this addictive and damaging method of escape that there will never be release or reckless abandon again...only endless hours fighting to control and resist monstrous urges to consume. I'm afraid I'll live the rest of my life as a prisoner on the other side of this cage I've created, longing to get back in despite the open space and opportunity that surround me. And so, thus far I have continued to stay inside the bubble of secrets and obsession, choosing over and over and over the momentary sweet fogs of unconsciousness over a real authenic life . I know this all may have begun with the physical body and "primal hunger", but I think if I'm really honest it's my mind that needs new beliefs and patterns in order for all of me to be truly free. The ebook and audio have been somewhat helpful in this and likely i just need a bit more patience with the process, but damn it sucks how frequently this awful thought torments me.