I just realized this weekend that I don't have friends. I mean, I know lots of people and I've dated a lot (till the current relationship, that is), but my boyfriend was taking a test on Friday night and I literally had no one to call, nothing to do. It was demoralizing. I have a seriously difficult time making social commitments that aren't obligatory. Not because I don't want them, but because I assume other people don't. The only people I'm close to are because 1) they're related to me, 2) I've known them since before ED, or 3) circumstance--as in, they live in my apartment or we're dating. Not because we met in class or out dancing or in church or anything else. I don't see any of these people when we aren't practicing or having a study group or in church. I say hello, smile, ask how they are, they ask how I am, we both lie, and life moves on. What kind of life is that? I literally don't even know how to be friends with people. I have an almost paralyzing fear of being a burden on someone and for a very social person, this is kind of hard to handle. Do any of you know how to overcome this? I feel like once we stop having an 'exclusive relationship' with ED we realize how empty our lives have been, but I don't know how to fill the holes!