going home is such a trigger

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bettybb923's picture
going home is such a trigger

Going home is so triggering for me. I like about an hour from my house and always am so trirggered by all the food my parents keep around they house. they love to buy in bulk. both of my parents drink every night and my mom binges a lot. i come home and they have so much junk food in the house. i love them and want to hang out with them, but i cannot trust myself in the hosue. i've had too many episodes there throughout my ED. i just dont know what to do. avoid my house? ive told my mom about my b/p and she acts like she willl take the food out of th ehouse but never follows through.

Mouli's picture
If you have to go there.

If you have to go there. Perhaps you can visualise in your mind what will happen first. Ok so you told your mum and she has done nothing about it. You enter the house and there is triggering food everywhere. That's ok, that doesn't mean you have to eat it. If its your planned meal time then perhaps get a plAte and calmy put the things you want to eat. If they are triggering, that's ok, take some deep breaths and allow yourself at this time to eat what is presented to you. It's only for one day. Eat what's on your plate somewhere you feel comfortable, preferably at the table, and try to focus really hard on your mealby eating it slowly. If others a re eating with you and it's too stressfully try not to worry too much. I've sat at many a table almost pretending to be present at the table but focusing really hard on myself and meal. It might be tough and a challenge but this is a chance to break the rules of going home and it being difficult. You don't HAVE to do what you normally do, if you know what I mean especially when they are not being supportive. After your meal, plan your end. Do something, go for a walk, come on here so that you are not tempted anymore. It's a tough one but we're rooting Dorothy. Good luck and let us know how you go, m x

darthdawn's picture
this reminds me of when I

this reminds me of when I quit drinking . The first year sober I had to avoid many situations, like my mom's house, where she drinks and refused to put things out of site when I came. It was hard, but for visits I found alcohol free restaurants to meet at instead of her home. Maybe you can structure visits where you don't stay over but get together at either a restaurant that you feel comfortable with the menu, or avoid that altogether and go to a movie or something? Explain to your parents that it is not forever, but just until you have more recovery time behind you - 6 months or so? It really helped for me with my drinking. Now I can go anywhere and I'm fine, but the first year was challenging to say the least! xo

``It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, and I'm feeling good`` - Nina Simone

lindsay6's picture
When I started here recovery

When I started here recovery was difficult at first. So much about recovery is triggering without adding in any extra high risk situations. Your Mom's house sounds like a mine field and it sounds like you are just not ready to handle that. I would stay away until you can. Like darthdawn days meet at restaurants or your place or whatever you need to do. Now that I have 6 months of recovery it is different and I think I could handle it but 6 months ago, no way. I used to WANT a chocolate bar 24/7, I rarely ate them but I wanted them. Now I look at chocolate bars and I have no interest in them. Well sometimes I do and then I eat one but I have control over this like I never did before. So what I am saying here is it won't always be like this. On a good day after a reasonable amount of recovery you can go to your Mom's house but maybe not yet.

When you are going through hell, keep going.

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