Has anyone given up on their best friend?

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Len_19
Len_19's picture
Has anyone given up on their best friend?

So right now I'm in my 2nd year of uni and I've just told my best friend to give me space cos I think she's going to cause me to binge soon.
Right now though I'm really doubting if that's the right thing to have done.

I tell this girl everything and have done since we started high school (so for 10 years). She's incredibly caring and is so supportive with my recovery. At uni though our relationship seems to have gotten so hard to maintain. She generally goes out in the eve we don't get many opportunities to talk on the phone and I find this really hard. I know she wants to help but when she finds it so hard to find free time for me I just think she's not bothered about us talking. Let me put this a bit more in context though. We do talk everyday in some form: text, e-mail,instant messaging etc. That's just how its always been but as I can't see her at uni, talking on the phone is the closest alternative.

Well anyway this week it was again really hard for her to find time for me and I got more upset than normal. I just felt like I'm such an effort for her to be friends with and she must have better people in her life than me. I know this is mainly the bulimia talking but she knows I think those things yet she still carries on acting this way.

Then a couple days later we did find a time to talk on the phone but she just sounded so bored and disconnected from me. So naturally I got really upset and was very close to binging. The only reason I didn't binge was cos I couldn't stop crying and was so exhausted after it all that all I could do was sleep. Since recovery began I've always felt so pathetic and needy with her cos I've needed her help a lot. Now though I think the next time she upsets me at uni I will binge and I really don't want that to happen.

At the end of the day though I care about her so much and can't live without her so is this a stupid thing to do?
I'd really appreciate your thoughts.

may june
may june's picture
dear len_19, please don't

dear len_19, please don't beat yourself up on the account of your best friend. i understand that you love her and care for her. it is possible that she is also having a bad time in her life and that's why she is isolating herself from you. again, if 2 of you are destined to become friends then nothing can break your friendship. i think for the time being you should give yourself and your friend some space - and concentrate on your recovery. please remember that the most important person in your life is yourself. be very proud of yourself that you did not binge and went to sleep. best wishes...

----
may june

“there are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” ~ albert einstein

Len_19
Len_19's picture
Thanks May June. I do believe

Thanks May June. I do believe we will be friends till we're old so maybe some time-out now would be good for us as technology is obviously just drawing us further apart. It's 5 weeks till the end of term so maybe I can just use all the support I have here and at uni to help me get through them till I can see her.
You've really helped.
Thank you.

may june
may june's picture
good idea len, i am so proud

good idea len, i am so proud of you.

regards...

----
may june

“there are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” ~ albert einstein

Delilia
Delilia's picture
My best friend was actually

My best friend was actually having binge issues ( without purging ). I felt exactly the same stuff you described above, about our relationship.
I had a serious talk with her.
It was 2 years ago. We're not friends anymore. She disappeared..

First it pissed my off. Then I felt sad. But now I clearly see, those kind of poor relationships were the only thing I thought I deserved.
Which is untrue.

... we have to let go some people ...

Rose16841
Rose16841's picture
i can totally related.....I

i can totally related.....I have a twin sister who i class as my best friend and we are soooo close and always have been. at times ive felt like im such a burden on her and that she deserves better and that she must just be soooo fed up of me.....but usually I have these feels when im on a real low or my b/p is at its worst. feel feelings and fears about our relatinship its not something I have talked to her about but I found that by distancing myself slightly I learnt to rely on her less and to open up to other ppl (mainly on this website).
I don't think you need to completely distance yourself but one thing I made a conscious effort to do was talk about the positive things in my day before anything else to give her a glimpse of the old me - this didn't just help with our relationship but also helped improve my mood and lift my spirits slightly. its sounds like a rele silly idea but rele worked for me.....
hope that helps slightly!

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