Hebe - This is me

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HeBe
HeBe's picture
Hebe - This is me

Hi.
I start by apologizing for my writing - English is not my native language.
I´m 40 years old and have suffered from bulimia since I was 14. - On the outside I´m successful. Have a great carreer - and like my job, have two wonderful kids (16 and 17 years old), a nice home and so on.... I look healthy (closer to 25 than 45)- and I actually think that a lot of my friends an collegues see me as a rolemodel in many ways. If they only knew...... I have recently divorced for the second time - and I think bulimia is a big part of the problem. I don´t know how to feel true love anymore - since I use food to control all kind of feelings that are "not neutral". And how can I love someone else when I hate my self this much. I´ve tried to "quit" many times but - as crazy as it sounds - I thing enjoy the bingeing-part to mutch let the bulimia go..... But it has too many downsides to go on like this. Because who am I kidding - if it is that great, why is it my big secret? NOBODY knows about my problem - not even my Ex-husbands! Now I´m so tired I´m afraid I will fall apart any minute. So It is now or never. I have to recover from bulimia this time.

HeBe

larissag
larissag's picture
Hi sweet friend. Glad you are

Hi sweet friend. Glad you are here. And you are great at English!!! Wow, wish I could write that well in another language! You are in the right place. You have begun to take the mask off. Our secrets jeep us sick. There is no shame here, and there is only complete love and understanding. Bulimia is exhausting and so sad. We don't need this anymore. YOU don't need this anymore. We are not broken, we are not weak. We have been conditioned to cope with food and purging. We are getting well and we will fight for the beautiful TRUE us that is meant to be free and well. There is so much more to you than bulimia. So much more to you than your weight. I am so glad we have you here to share with and grow with on this journey of reclaiming and discovering who we really are. Be gentle and kind to yourself. You are on the way to good stuff, no matter how overwhelmed you may feel right now. One day at a time. Xxxxx message, email me anytime. Love to share with you.

to thine own self be true

HeBe
HeBe's picture
Tank you Larissa It brings

Tank you Larissa
It brings hope to know that there are more people "out there", fighting for the same cause. Maybe I'll succeed this time. Hopefully we can help both ourselves and eachother.

HeBe

Freedomseeker
Freedomseeker's picture
Hello HeBe - I'm sorry it has

Hello HeBe - I'm sorry it has taken me a couple of days to accept your friend request - I had some difficulty finding what you had written here but I'm so glad to have just read what you wrote and want to welcome you to this wonderful community. It is truly a safe place and we all understand what you are going through. Don't ever feel ashamed to be completely honest here and you will find nothing but support and love. I hope you are holding your head up today and look forward to getting to know you! Laura xoxo

Freedomseeker

MsPrevail
MsPrevail's picture
Hello, and may I say your

Hello, and may I say your English is excellent, and I would never have guessed it was not your first language! Anyways, I welcome you (even though I haven't yet properly introduced myself to the BH community,) I'm just so happy to see there are other older people here... we're nearly the same age. I'm 46.

No pot of gold exists beneath my bathroom scale!

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