I have been a member here for a while but I am just now getting serious about recovery. I am house sitting for a family friend and it has been a very dark week for me and my bulimia. I need to start engaging with the other members on this site because I feel so alone right now. I feel lost. Please, if you know this feeling, send me a friend request, I don't want to fight this alone anymore, I want to win, and be free of this awful monster. I'm so tired of being controlled by food, a slave to it. I want to be able to sit, by myself, in a home full of food, and not think about it, AT ALL! Is that so much to ask? I am so exhausted and I really want to hide away and never eat again, but every day, I have to, and I can never seem to win. I have so much love inside me, so much going well, and I want to share that love with all the world, but instead all of my energy is taken by this monster called bulimia. Please, be my friend, and help me get through this, I will do my best to love and encourage each and every one of you in any way possible, I am always good at helping others, but myself is another story entirely. That's all for now, thank you.