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Cookeve
Cookeve's picture
Help

Hi everyone,

I have been a member here for a while but I am just now getting serious about recovery. I am house sitting for a family friend and it has been a very dark week for me and my bulimia. I need to start engaging with the other members on this site because I feel so alone right now. I feel lost. Please, if you know this feeling, send me a friend request, I don't want to fight this alone anymore, I want to win, and be free of this awful monster. I'm so tired of being controlled by food, a slave to it. I want to be able to sit, by myself, in a home full of food, and not think about it, AT ALL! Is that so much to ask? I am so exhausted and I really want to hide away and never eat again, but every day, I have to, and I can never seem to win. I have so much love inside me, so much going well, and I want to share that love with all the world, but instead all of my energy is taken by this monster called bulimia. Please, be my friend, and help me get through this, I will do my best to love and encourage each and every one of you in any way possible, I am always good at helping others, but myself is another story entirely. That's all for now, thank you.

Victoria

Victoria

HopefulGirl
HopefulGirl's picture
Hi, Victoria! Your post

Hi, Victoria! Your post really touched me and I can feel how much in pain you are. You will get through this and we are here to help you.
Just stay strong and confident, and make the most of all the resources this method offers: videos, books, stories, community, etc.
We all know recovery is not easy, but this is the right place to start getting closer to it!

HopefulGirl

Peyton
Peyton's picture
Victoria, I know how you

Victoria,
I know how you feel. Bulimia is so awful. I have spent years of my life controlled by it. Bingeing and purging is a vicious cycle. You can stop the cycle. I know you can. "Brain Over Binge" is a book that helped me tremendously. I believe in you.

Peyton

ricky
ricky's picture
Victoria, your open hearted

Victoria, your open hearted letter touched me deeply. I just read it, and I am close to tears. All I can do is encourage you with my own bulimia story. I can clearly feel this feeeling of being alone. Oh how horribble those moments are! I happen to be a popular, creative leader in my community, but when it came to my bulimia I always felt alone and miserable for keeping this dark secret to myself. I felt like I was cheating the world, and if people would know who I really am(a bulimic) they would have thrown me away, without giving me a glance. But that is not true once you look into real recovery, which is the kind you find here. Let me tell you , this works! I'm on this now for a few months and I feel like a new person already. Go strong, stick with it. dont let relapses and flops, carry you away. just take it one step at a time, with clarity an strength , you deserve it, it's a better life. good luck!

natascha
natascha's picture
Dear Victoria, I think that

Dear Victoria,
I think that unless your great suffering now,you also have noticed the most precious inside you,which is the source of your healing:You are able to LOVE.This is the greatest gift at all.Turn your heart towards yourself and let your love be now for yourself,too!
Take one step at the time in the program and start with structured eating every 3 hours every day,than you will be less occupied with food over a time.You are so worth to heal!!!
Best wishes

Natascha

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