I dont know what is going on. Just recently I felt like I was doing so good and was so proud of myself. I binged a little yesterday morning, realised why I did it, decided not to beat myself up about it and learnt my lesson from it and moved on. Thus all my positivity in my blogs too.
But I just binged again. I overate this morning after my workout but did not feel the disgusting, uncomfortably full feeling so I figured thats just how much my body needs after a workout. Now I just dont understand why I binged this time. It was on cookies, something that was taboo to me while I was on my diets. While recovering I allowed myself all kinds of foods and just didnt get around to cookies so maybe thats why I was trying to compensate now that I am eating them?
I just want to continue to stay positive and learn my lesson and move on.
I was having a bad day with missing my boyfriend so much since he's been at work since 9 in the morning and today is our 6 month anniversary. He has been very busy lately and rarely ever has time for me. This has been bugging me a lot lately and I was pretty bummed yesterday too but he didnt even say anything although he did notice. I have also been thinking about my mom who passed away a year ago.. and.. I dont know. I just feel like a mess and dont know what to take away from this.
Please help me understand and feel better. I feel so alone right now..
When will this nightmare end..I just want to be normal.. :'(