Helping a spouse underastand my eating disorder

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Cleopatra1976's picture
Helping a spouse underastand my eating disorder

Hello. I am new to this site. I am 34 and my eating disorder began when I was 17. I am currently in recovery, but it is a rocky road. I have managed to improve most areas of my life. I sitll binge and purge but not like i used to. I have struggled with this disease for so long - feeling isolated and disgusting, like I don't belong in society. With continued counseling, however, I have begun to feel better about my disease and start to live a little and feel like a "normal" person (if there is such a thing). My husband of five years is struggling to understand this eating disorder. He often says that its in my head and that all I need to do is take control and get over it. He says that he often feels like heand our marriage comes second to my eating disorder. I need to explain it to him, but lack the words. Maybe because I don't want to face the words that I need to tell him to explain why I just can't "let it go". Any advice?

Constant Vigilance!!!

freakyblonde88's picture
That's a tough one... My bf

That's a tough one... My bf told me the day he realized and understood was when I broke down in tears because I felt so gross, lost and helpless. And felt like I had no way to remedy it or help myself. Of course over periods of weeks/months I then always tried explaining to him in words what I felt like, what it was like for me. And assuring him that I loved him more then anything and didn't want to lose him over it. He knew this and told me the most important thing was my recovery and for me to be happy so in turn WE together could be happy. Which was something ED was robbing from us.
And yes ED's are in our mind, but we're not choosing them. Someone who is schizophrenic for example did not choose to be that way, or someone with OCD, etc... We may choose to give in more often then we need to. But my advice is to be honest, no matter how gross we feel about ourselves and our ED, the only way they'll understand is if we tell them, otherwise how can they know..? I know it's hard and very unpleasant. and I usually ended up burying my head in something when I was telling my bf about it, cause it's embarrassing and something I'm very ashamed of. There's no glory in ED. But there's definite glory is recovering from it..

I dunno if this way any sorta help, I hope so, and I wish you all the best of luck with your recovery and with letting your husband know... *hugs*

Life is too short to not be happy

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