Hi I'm Stephanie- in recovery for 5 years- have not vomitted for 5 years

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water117's picture
Hi I'm Stephanie- in recovery for 5 years- have not vomitted for 5 years

Hi I just joined the site last night!

From the ages of 21-26 I binged/vomitted sometimes more than 5 or 6 times per day. I also drank everyday... the bingeing started when I went to college and would stay up for a couple days on speed, and not eat- when I came down I would binge.

That led to weight gain, which led to dieting, which led to more bingeing, which led to throwing up.

I got into a wreck that changed my life when I was 25 and started seeking spirituality and really sought out help- I joined a 12 step program- both for food and then alcohol. I got sober when 1/17/09 and free from vomiting on 2/18/09.

I really do not believe I am powerless over food though, but I feel like I still need support and more help to recover fully, because I weigh everyday, count calories obsessively and workout alot. And I get scared to go out and do things too late because I do not want to eat too many calories.

I tend to stick to around 2000 per day, but sometimes less and sometimes more... And I will exercise more if I feel I have eaten too many calories.

I'm happy with my life in general but I still want to learn how to listen to my body's hunger cues, and I believe I can do that. even though we learned we could not when I was in a 12 step program. I loved the support and guidance in the 12 step program, but I want to try this bulimia help method now...

I am going to visit my boyfriend's family in Oregon for Christmas, and I already am concerned I will just want to eat too much and gain weight...and I am worried I will not get to workout enough...and that I will feel like crap.

And I do not want to live like that, so I am going to give this a shot! I am halfway though the book now- just started reading it last night!

Anyways, if anyone can relate to me (stopped vomiting through a 12 step program but still will get scared about eating too many calories and exercise more to make up for it), I would love to hear how this has worked for you!

granny goat
granny goat's picture
Hi Stephanie, I have used up

Hi Stephanie,

I have used up most of my time here today, but I wanted to say hi. I am not familiar with 12 step programs, but I think this program probably works best if we follow it as closely as possible and kind of forget about other methods. We have learned a lot of wrong things about nutrition and food and weight and body image, and a lot of us have been convinced that we are mentally unbalanced. This program taught me that anybody would end up like this if they allowed themselves to be talked into dieting and restricting food like we have been. We just need to correct the mistakes we have made by dieting and restricting food.

I will look forward to hearing more about your progress.

water117's picture
thank you!! I appreciate your

thank you!! I appreciate your feedback. Yes in OA they kinda teach us that we never will be able to trust our own instincts when it comes to food because we have an incurable disease.

I feel hopeful that is not true though and am looking forward to using BHM!

granny goat
granny goat's picture
Exactly! I don't like what I

Exactly! I don't like what I have heard about 12 steps concerning being powerless, etc. This program doesn't teach that. As I understand it, we are not to fight against food. We are to eat properly and enjoy it and become normal again. Once we learn how to listen to our bodies and eat properly, we won't even have any urges to binge or purge. No urge means no binging. For me, no binge would automatically mean no purge.

I wish you much success with the BHM.

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