how do i not offend people at a dinner party

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carolinehoggart...'s picture
how do i not offend people at a dinner party

I wonder if any one has advice.

I have been in recovery for about 6 months and with a few blips along the way I am doing really well.

This weekend my husband and I have been invited for dinner along with another couple to the house of my sons friends' parents. We don't know them very well and i am starting to panic about what i will have to eat. The host mentioned he was cooking thai - i'm worried about having to eat loads of rice and whether there will be 3 courses - would it be rude of me to decline any of them?

What do you think is the best way to approach the evening without looking like i'm mad!?

I really don't want to end up feeling really full and awful and then spend the next day bingeing and purging, when i've got so far with my recovery.

Any advice would be really appreciated.


granny goat
granny goat's picture
Hi Maryse, I don't see why

Hi Maryse,

I don't see why anyone should be offended if you don't eat a lot at the dinner. I have had guests who eat a lot and guests who only take a smidgen of everything. Everyone should be able to eat what they want, and especially how much they want. If you feel you must explain, just say in an offhand way that you are not a big eater, or something to that effect, then eat what you feel like without apology.

You can eat slowly and spend more time raving about how good everything is and asking for recipes to show your appreciation, rather than eating what you don't feel like.

carolinehoggart...'s picture
Thank you, that really helps.

Thank you, that really helps.


recovery2014's picture
You could also say that you

You could also say that you have not been very well so prefer to have a light meal? I really hope you are able to enjoy the evening and the company. (-:

I think it's important to remember that your host has probably invited you in order to get to know you better and to enjoy your company...and not in order to make sure that you eat a lot! So no pressure there.

I find it helpful to pick a "focus" for a difficult meal time e.g. the aim is to get to know X better, or, the aim is to have a fun time. Having a focus eases my food fears and is actually more realistic in identifying what the evening is about (for me).

Well done on your recovery and good luck!

"According to all known laws of aviation, there's no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to lift its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway - because bees don't care what humans think is impossible."

rainbowsandunicorns's picture
Hi! Don't know if the party

Hi! Don't know if the party is already over but anyway!
First of all I'm happy for you that your recovery is going well :D

Secondly, most Thai food isn't unhealthy and it's delicious! And also, I agree with what everyone says, it's not about the food but the social thing around it... the food is just a way to keep it all together haha. And don't feel bad if you eat only a little! The host will probably not even notice or just not care, and for you it IS a big deal so please listen to yourself and do what YOU want instead of pleasing others :)

Hope you enjoy the party!! Xxx

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