How to say no to an upcoming binging?

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DOkkamjong
DOkkamjong's picture
How to say no to an upcoming binging?

Recovery takes time, okay!! it has been a year and 2 months since I started here. And I keep failing. I still do binge and purge every 4 days approximately.. Does that mean I am unsuccesful, weak or is my method wrong? I forgot how to say no to an upcoming binge... There is a space where I chose what to eat. I can predict if I eat ''that'' food in that specific time, I will surely binge on it and other things. And in that space I sometimes tell myself ''no dont eat or you will start binging'' but sometimes I feel so exhausted, I feel like I have only choice, to eat it, I want it, even if I know I will binge afterwards, eating that food gives me comfort and helps me stop thinking other unwanted thoughts or sometimes I eat only to people not recognize my ED, I eat only to they not think I am dieting (actually I eat everything, only I am trying structural eating but people understand it)

I feel like I am trapped. Guys I need your help. There must be something wrong in my behaviour. I dont think I am weak or something. I dont admit it. Any words from you can be my hope.

Rose16841
Rose16841's picture
Hey :) sorry to hear you're

Hey :) sorry to hear you're struggling. Firstly, just to say you are not failing....I'm assuming before you joined BH method you were b/p-ing everyday? So to be able to go 4 days b/p free is progress :) don't ever forget that!
I think the trap a lot of us fall into without realising it is that bulimic behaviour becomes a pattern that we don't know how to cope without....we train our brains into thinking that b/p-ing is our only option....not true!! It sounds like you need to come up with a list of diffusion tactics to get you through those urges....maybe make a list of alternatives to keep you busy at that critical point? Things that work for me are phoning or skyping a friend, tidying my bedroom, having a shower, doing some stretching whilst listening to music.....basically anything to remove yourself from the situation and get you focusing on something else. I also find meditation really helpful....so when an urge comes on take that moment to sit down and focus on your breathing, acknowledge that you're experiencing an urge and then repeat a positive affirmation to get your mind thinking more positively (something like "I am in control of my actions")....I find it helps to reduce anxiety.....
I also like to write in my journal when experiencing urges.....it helps to rationalise things out in your mind. And it's a great way to figure out where the urge has come from and what might have caused it. That way you can use it as a learning experience too.....
Hope that helps a little!! Hope everything is going well at Uni :)

DOkkamjong
DOkkamjong's picture
Rose :)) I am so happy to see

Rose :)) I am so happy to see you, it has been months since we last talked. Actually I remember I wrote to you from here in private messages, you must have missed it. I looked right now, it was sent on 16th January. Anyway I miss talking with you. And, again you came to rescue me XDXD Medicine Faculty has a lot work, but actually I loved it. Okay, it is only my 1st year, but I love going to lectures, extra classes, labs and hanging out with friends much XDXD My life has changed in a better way.

Fistly thank you for reminding me that those were just relapses not failures. Yes I were binging everyday, sometimes 2,3 or 4 times in a day. Now it is once or twice a week. But still Rose, I do sports and it sabotages all my efforts. And some of my friends told today that it is all about willpower, if you really wanted to stop binging, you could have. So I felt really low, I am upset about myself. I know that it is not about willpower but why I keep relapsing then, am I really not strong enough to cope with emotions, ED and stuff... And, well I binged again today. How beautiful :))

I will surely make a list of diffuse tactics, meditation was helping me a lot, so I will try it firstly. And the other things of course. I will try everything to get rid of this illness, I wont ever give up, Rose. It will finally end...

How about you, how is everything going, sports school, life, recovery??

ElsieSoproni
ElsieSoproni's picture
The number one most helpful

The number one most helpful thing for me is to walk out the front door. Doesn't even matter if I go anywhere! Somehow, feeling the air on my face reminds me that the world is so much bigger than the black hold in my mind and half the time the urge disappears then. If I'm in a position to, going on a walk then is a huge help, but if I can't commit to that in my mind, just walking to the mailbox and back can do it for me. Then I have to do something productive. Wash the dishes, play music (and SING ALONG!!! It occupies your mouth and your brain haha), do homework, something that requires your hands. Get someone else involved if they're around. Start a conversation. Call someone. I'm not perfect at it, far from it, but those help me. Also, if I'm partway through a binge, I spit out what's in my mouth and turn on the anti-purge audio. Or throw away the food in my hand. Something that shows my commitment to stop RIGHT then. And I remind myself of the very comforting thought that 1) the effects of what I just ate will pass FASTER if I don't purge, that you won't gain weight even if you eat an extra 600 or so calories that day, provided you keep going with your normal eating patterns, and that if I purge I WILL overeat the next day, guaranteed, whether I purge it or not. And I remind myself how good it feels to not purge and all the things I hate about purging. I wrote that list once right after I finished and remembering the details is motivating. My mind usually blocks them from me in the moment because it doesn't want to admit what it's doing. I hope something in there helps. Congrats for your four days! That's fantastic!

ElsieSoproni
ElsieSoproni's picture
**black hole

**black hole

DOkkamjong
DOkkamjong's picture
Lots of new things I should

Lots of new things I should try!! When I am through a binge; I will remind myself how I hate about purging, how disgusting and unhealthy it is that I must rethink about binging and its conclusions. Extra calories wont lead to weight gain if I will be in control on the other times. And definitely I will consume more calories if I binge and purge.

I will keep all that in my mind. And if I will be stuck, I will go for walk, praying, listening to music. Maybe driving car helps too. (focusing on traffic and using hands) ''My mind usually blocks how disgusting purging from me in the moment because it doesn't want to admit what it's doing.'' How true!! Okay, so I will try to remember all those.

I was better Elsie, I remember in some months I just did once. So I believe I again can manage to cope with that. I feel stronger right now too. I want all to end, so I will try, try and try. Step by step I will overcome these days. Thank you very much for your help. I actually dont want an urge to come, but when it does (and I know that it will) I will be prepared to welcome it.

Take care of yourself. I hope recovery goes well with you?? You really are so kind and thoughtful!!

ardnassac79
ardnassac79's picture
I haven't been on this site

I haven't been on this site in ages and while I guess I consider myself still in recovery, I think its' more like I full-on relapsed and am trying to drag myself back out of that hole and back into active recovery again. It's always around this time of day - I work from home, and right after I eat a decent lunch, I want to just keep eating for a full on binge and then the purge... and today I knew I needed to come here and try to remember how to stop. How thankful I was to find this thread at the top of the forum posts. And thank you to Rose and Elsie for the tactics and support ideas... they are helping already.

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