I go to sleep every night thinking, tomorrow i will start my journey to recovery. Then I wake up and my first thought is, this one last time I'll binge. Lately I've been getting so tired after a binge that I go to sleep then I can't purge so I have eaten a trillion calories. So now I'm a binge eater. Just great!!!! Fuck I hate everything. I fucking hate this disease. I hate it i HATE IT I HATE IT! I;ve cried so much there are no more tears left.
I'm sick of myself, I'm sick of my disgustingly huge stomach and I'm sick of being a big fatty that continues to pile on the kilos because of this horrible habit.
I don't want to do it anymore. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.