initial thoughts, gain, recovery, am i ready

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tina
tina's picture
initial thoughts, gain, recovery, am i ready

Once i am more familiar with the recovery process and this website, and alltogether more comfortable with the idea of me in recovery, knowing that i haven't been healthy in abt 10 years, i know it will become easier, but for now i have some questions that i would love to be answered. Thank all of you in advance.
questions:

1. I know the theory of the set point weight and how recovery-weight gain or loss depends on where you are compared to that, but i would still love to know a range/numbers of how much most of you gained during recovery.

2. how long before your weight (again, i know how long theoretically) stabilised.

3. do you ever actually get to the point of not having the thoughts of: "it would just be so much easier if i purged"

4.and how do you stop your mind from automatically counting the calories you put on your plate. i seem to be uncapable to turn that off. it just happens. and i also have nightmares of me being extremely fat to the point of not being able to walk, and have gross images of me not fitting into clothes appearing in front of my eyes allll the time. how do you fight that?

again. Thank you so much for any answers you might be able to provide!

Tina

in_a_daze
in_a_daze's picture
hi i havent really

hi i havent really recovered...i just started the process so i cant really answer the first few questions you asked but i am really curious too! i keep wondering if my set-point is 'fat' then i dont want to recover...but i know that's just bad... anyways, i'm 2 weeks into the messy recovery process with plenty of mistakes along the way and i have gained X pounds although i really can't tell much. i can never tell in the mirror, the scale has always told me everything i've needed to know. i am not trying hard enough, i know that. i try to stop counting, i just push it to the side of my head but i always end up counting. i also have nightmares. i know this is terrible but last night i had a dream that i locked myself in a bathroom stall and puked into a bag. i have not purged in 5 days, i think. i threw up on friday but that was on account of alcohol. i still get the I WANT TO PURGE NOW thoughts but i try to push them away, promising myself work out the next day. i know its not healthy but its less...bad. i hope i helped. take care and good luck! xx

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