I'm having a very rough time getting myself to bed at a decent hour. I believe it is because ED has kept me awake very late so I am more likely to binge, having my guard down and being more vulnerable. I've been having an average of 5 hrs of sleep a night for the last 3 months. This is totally unhealthy and exhausting, especially being hung over from food every day as well.
I'm so sick of it. There is no reason to be awake. I can sleep at 9pm if I want, but I stay up until 1pm watching TV, binging, on the internet, talking to friends.
And another thing, the guy I've been talking to for a few months is coming to visit me this saturday. I'm so happy because it's so soon, however, I'm really still in the thick of the illness and not putting complete commitment into my recovery. I haven't told him about ED because I am ashamed. He mentioned his ex was very depressed and it ruined their relationship - I'm suspecting she also had a food issue. So, it puts me in an awkward spot. I know honesty is best, but I do NOT want him to become a crutch and I do not want to ruin my new relationship. But, at the same time, ED is ruining my life and positive, consistent actions must be taken on my part.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Hang in there everyone. We can overcome!