irregular episodes

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sparkyautogirl's picture
irregular episodes

I've struggled with Bulimia for about 8 years: couple times/day at my worst to once every 2 months at my best. I'm on the upswing from a holiday relapse, reducing 3 binges/week to about 1x/week. I've done a lot of monitoring of my urges, trying to wait them out or prevent them, analyze triggers and such, but it just seems like it's something different every time. What is always the same, is that I'm eating alone, and almost always there isn't anything readily available that I want, like all we have is really old ground turkey, cheese and bread or whatever, when I love lots and lots of veggies, frozen or fresh. But so does my husband. So we just blow through those whenever I make them, and if I don't have time to make another veggie-heavy dish, and I'm hungry NOW, I get binge urges. It usually feels like I'm stressed beforehand too, because I always feel more calm and focused afterwards. So am I blaming my binges on the limited food availability, when it's actually because I'm too busy to make meals to prevent the urges? Should I be able to avoid urges no matter what food is available? Also, I have a 15 month old who gets sick a lot, so feeding myself takes the back burner to feeding, changing, comforting him.

Oh, also, when i decide to give into the urges I usually utilize it to "clean out the fridge/pantry". Cause I hate dumping food straight into the garbage can that I know my husband won't eat and I know is a weakness for me.

beachykeen's picture
I totally relate to the

I totally relate to the trigger of having nothing ready to eat. I have found it helpful to have a few things on hand in the freezer as "just in case" meals. I've found frozen meals I can pop in the microwave or I'll make extra of a meal, soup, whatever that I can freeze then in a pinch throw it on the stove or even in the oven while I'm in the shower (or otherwise multitasking). You'd be surprised what you can freeze! I was surprised at all of the stuff you can freeze. I don't think there is anything to specifically blame. You are noticing a pattern of a specific cause and effect. That's important if you want to change it.

I am not a mother (so feel free to disregard this if you like), but I hear a similar sentiment from a lot of my clients who are moms about taking care of themselves last. This is usually my response--You cannot take care of someone else to the best of your ability if you are not taking care of yourself.

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