Well today was interesting. I haven't been on here for several months. I've been going through a lot of stress (big changes at work, a sudden death in the family and other stuff) and I took a nosedive back into using food. However, in the past week, I had made some small changes that I was a bit proud of. I was actually eating during the day! I was packing a lunch and snacks and not letting myself starve then binge when I got home. I thought this was great.
Then I went to my family doctor for my annual check up, or actually my two year check up. It was like she totally forgot that I had ED issues. I was already horrified that her assistant had weighed me but luckily the scale is in kg's and I have no concept of my weight in metric. Then one of the first things my doctor says is so you're probably trying to lose weight. Here's a sheet, let's go through it and she proceeded to list all the 'bad' and 'good' foods. She asked what I was eating and I was so pleased that I was actually eating breakfast, I started to say "English muffin..." and she cut me off and laughed and said that an English muffin is HORRIBLE, just as bad as a croissant. After she was done bashing the English muffin, I mentioned that I had problems with ED, just to remind her of the conversation we've had in the past thinking it would change her tune. Nope.
So I was feeling pretty beat up after that and I went home and sat in the house for a while instead of going right to work. I felt a bit better so I headed off to work. After work I called my mom, casually mentioned I went to the doctor and was making other conversation and then she starts in on me saying "Do any of these people you go see ever tell you to lose weight? I think you should go back to WW and are you exercising because you should be, do you ever do anything?" I made some excuse and told her I had to go and we hung up.
And then, I went to my chiropractor, waited an hour to get in to see this guy, who is usually crazy and funny and has a good energy. Anyway, I finally got in and was pleasant, trying to forget the day and as he's adjusting me he says I need to get doing something to strengthen my muscles - okay fine. He asks what kind of exercise I like and what I've done in the past and I told him I used to run. He said something along the lines of why did you stop, was it your back or was it the refrigerator tied to my a**. He doesn't know anything about my ED and he thought it was a joke, but after the day I had, I was not amused and glad my face was buried in the adjustment table.
So here I am, eating my way through my crummy day. I just needed to vent this and release it from my mind so I can let it go. I am sick of people's ignorance when it comes to food and weight issues and I'm sick of how I let people talk to me, but I still don't know how to change it.
Thanks for listening and I hope everyone had a good day towards recovery.
Hugs to all