I always try to follow, "Listen to your body." It has been a saying that I have heard since I started to try and recover and I feel as though it is a very important concept. There is one question I constantly wonder and I can't decide if its absurd or if it actually makes sense..
I binge, I purge, my stomach has to be at least double or triple it's normal size, how can I be sure if Iim eating the right amount of food for my body? I can't tell if it is just my mind thinking I have eaten too much when I have a meal, or if I really did eat a correct amount and am satisfied because I'm giving my body the right amount of food.
I hope this makes sense, for example, I just went out tonight with my fiancé. I was at a normal hunger state and avoided the breads and mashed. I had a large piece of salmon, assorted salads,sweet potato slices with tahini and eggplant, a shrimp and a muscle. Lastly, for desert, a raw date and coconut ball.
Now thats a whole awful lot of food. I can look at the positives and be happy at what I avoided and decided to crowd out picking better options but I can also look at it as it. was. so. much. food. Though, strangely enough, I'm not uncomfortably full and I'm pretty satisfied. My only desire to binge is coming from the fact that my mind is telling me I have over eaten. In this case made me come up with the questioning of my stomach size change, and maybe thats another obstacle and struggle I have to battle?
I don't know anymore :(