Looking for companions on this journey

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Izzyloma's picture
Looking for companions on this journey

I have just recently joined the program December 31 and I am looking for companions to share the good and bad days on this journey. I am a 45 year old French Canadian ( French as first language, so please forgive mistakes in English) living in montreal Canada. I have been struggling with anorexia for a few years but only recently realized that I also suffer from bulimia, which I had managed to hide from professionals and many people around me( myself included) but the puffy cheeks (swollen cheeks )gave away my big secret. I have almost finished reading the book and feel filled with optimism with the program although I know the road will be long and full of hardships. Izzy

Coach Jen
Coach Jen's picture
Hi Izzy! Welcome to Bulimia

Hi Izzy! Welcome to Bulimia Help! I'm glad you are reading the book and feeling optimistic. Hang in there, recovery is not easy, but you can do it! Best wishes, xoxo

emblazo's picture
Hi Izzy! I'm in need of a

Hi Izzy! I'm in need of a companion as well. Please feel free to message me anytime. xx eve

sharon.kieran@hotmail.com's picture
I too am new to this, I have

I too am new to this, I have been suffering from my eating disorder now since 1996, I have a.n,b.n,c/s,laxatives,diurectics abuse etc I am so sick of this disease how it has and is ruining my life , I'v lost my job,my finance and most of all I lost ME as now i'm recluse, hide away from life no self esteem anymore plus i have lost my personality as I no fun no-more, I so wish and want to change and and not to be so compelled to this disease and rigidness of the disease anymore.

Izzyloma's picture
I have tried to stick to the

I have tried to stick to the program for over a week now. I have seen some improvements but things are far from prefect. I do well for the first part of the day, only to lose part of my resolve come the evening and tend to relapse into b/p in the later part of the evening. I am a tangled mess of emotions, fluctuating between great optimism and despair that I will ever succeed. I find the program to be challenging and emotionally overwhelming. I also feel bombarded by trying to get to master all the tools at once given I have a 30 day trial period. I should pace myself and take it one day at a time. I continue to struggle with anxiety as I had expected would be the case, is it the same for you? I would imagine that many people who just started the program feel some of the same emotions and struggles. It would help to share. One thing I am sure glad about is that I had ditched my scale on Xmas day ( gave it to my sister), best Xmas gift I got this year, little did I know at the time.
I have very slightly increased my food intake in that I purge less, as a result I have experienced minor bloating, have been eating more fiber to manage this and have noticed an increase in the frequency of bowel movements. Emotionally, I feel a bit more optimistic, particularly on the few occasions when I was successful at diffusing an urge to binge and or urge to purge by walking away. I will need to practice this a great deal because it sure does not come to me naturally, particularly under stress. I am reading the book for the second time and feel I am gaining additional insight with the second reading, will need to continue and read many more times I am sure as I am probably going to gain more insights with every new read? I feel greatful for finding this program and believe in its value. the one thing that makes me happiest these days is that I seem to have been able to reintroduce fun back into the menu. It had been several months since I had had a cappuccino, chocolate chips ( minis) or any alcohol, I started eating/ drinking those again in great moderation but at least I got fun back into the menu. Puts a smile back on my face. What has worked for you?

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LeaLea's picture
Hi, izzy. I'm new to this

Hi, izzy. I'm new to this site and new to recovery this week. Well, no, I've tried a thousand times, but nothing has worked BUT I have never been on this site before now and I have to say, although I feel overwhelmingly negative in myself, there is some weird tingly feeling of hope, that I might actually get somewhere this time. I mean this with such sincerity since I have never got anywhere before now and this is the longest I have tried (4 days) in one go.

I'm encouraged by the members who have stayed to help others, even when they are recovered and have moved beyond bulimia.

I have been trying for four days, although I have purged and restricted my intake and I am far from a normal diet, I am actually better than I was before- less purging and less starving. I truly hate myself right now, but even though I just know I'm going to fall a lot, I'm am mentally more determined to get back up and try again, no matter how many times it takes. I've suffered over twenty years with various eating disorders, so it's ingrained in me and I need one heck of a wash to remove it! I'm not going to be dead before I'm 40, so I have a little over 3 years to recover. I hate myself at the moment, that is very real, but I feel so desperate to help you get through this, I figure I can at least try to do this for myself, too.

Good luck and keep posting. I'd like to know how things go in the first few weeks. All the best


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