Hi. I've been struggling with bulimia for almost two years now. My ED began when I was 17 and gradually fell into anorexia. I did not even realize that I was anorexic for three years, despite various people hinting to me, and doctors even telling me that I NEEDED to gain weight. so i did, slowly. but in order to gain weight, i began binging. the binging led to me feeling disgusted with myself. after about a year of binging secretly at night, i began purging. but now the purging has increased to about 3 times per day. I am currently 21 years old (almost 22). I am the heaviest I've ever been, and I feel terrible about myself. My body image is not good. At all. I feel so fat and keep having to purchase new clothes. I was used to being the skinny, long-legged girl growing up, but now I blend in as an "average," pudgy college girl. I know that I am beautiful on the inside, and that I still look fine on the outside, but I do not feel beautiful, or even slightly attractive/desirable. I need some confidence. But because I lack in confidence, I continue to binge, and then purge to get everything out of me...to "cancel out" the binge. I know that this is actually causing me to gain weight, but I can't seem to actually trust that fact, especially when I am the b/p zone. Any suggestions/advice???