the mornings full of hope..

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Mariya's picture
the mornings full of hope..

I dread the mornigns...full of hope and fear of the day...I plunge into a sea of responsibilites and drawn my fear in distractions, until it explodes with its full power, taking over and then again it's the pain of the late night in the office, induced not by workload, but by the load I put on myslef..
I am disconnected...with the world, my loved ones, and myslef.
And that's what bulimia has beein and is still doing to after day, night after night, year after year.
I dread tomorrow morning because I keep loosing the fight. I dread another day of defeat, shame, self-hatered and smell of vomit.
I've tried all CBT and other therapies...and now this ..but keep failing. How do I get up believing tomorrow morning?
Where do I find hope when it's all so hopeless...

Today is a prototype. Tomorrow is a muse.

Masil's picture
Wow I feel like you are me. I

Wow I feel like you are me. I feel the same way. Every night I think tomorrow will be awesome or starting next week I will be "good". But my life and work is so stressful and hectic by Wednesday I just need to find comfort in my couch with a buffet of treats. I feel like a superhero now then a binge and purge and feel worthless and ashamed and often it carries into the morning and if I have the opportunity and time I repeat... But there has to be a way out right? That's why we are here. Wishing you strength and self love :)


Rudzia's picture
So familiar for me right

So familiar for me right now.
Every morning I feel the strenght
and then in the evening I loose everything.
Again and again.

Would like to help but now feel that I cant help myself.

Anmie's picture
Hi girls, To all of you I

Hi girls,

To all of you I just want to say: hang on in there! even if it feels like the pattern is stuck and fixed, it isn't. Every tiny step you take towards challenging these behaviours is a massive change on the inside. Be kind and forgiving towards yourself - you're not failing. Slowly, so slowly you probably can't see it right now, you're changing on the inside. Just being on here and wanting to change is the first step on that journey. Focus on the moments when you feel strong and gradually the moments when you feel weaker will get less. I know if seems hard to believe but it is totally possible and it WILL happen to you.

Sending you lots of love and all strength,


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