I dread the mornigns...full of hope and fear of the day...I plunge into a sea of responsibilites and drawn my fear in distractions, until it explodes with its full power, taking over and then again it's the pain of the late night in the office, induced not by workload, but by the load I put on myslef..
I am disconnected...with the world, my loved ones, and myslef.
And that's what bulimia has beein and is still doing to me...day after day, night after night, year after year.
I dread tomorrow morning because I keep loosing the fight. I dread another day of defeat, shame, self-hatered and smell of vomit.
I've tried all CBT and other therapies...and now this ..but keep failing. How do I get up believing tomorrow morning?
Where do I find hope when it's all so hopeless...