My Boyfriend is Making Comments About My Weight Gain

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journeycc
journeycc's picture
My Boyfriend is Making Comments About My Weight Gain

Well, i tried to discuss with my asshole boyfriend some of the issues regarding my bulimia. I had relapsed about 2 years ago after i quit smoking and started eating more and more. Well, i actually wound up gaining a lot of weight from all the binging and purging, and i was binging so much and i couldn't keep up with it. So, i've put on some weight, nothing that outrageous. but i am very uncomfortable. It has made me so crazy....i want to rip my skin off, needless to say. So, while im fighting it out every day with this insane disorder, he was asking me about it. I started to discuss some of it with him, how im desperately trying to stop etc...well, today we had a fight and he mentioned that i had obviously gained weight, and that he was "trying to be patient" with me.. i mean, what the hell ? Im not obese . I gained some weight, give me a break. Im battling for life and death here. So he said, "i mean How much do you weigh anyway ?" what an asshole...seriously, im done. That's just abusive to me. I just cannot believe how horrible people can be in this world. I had to rant about it, it's so unreal...clueless

lindsay6
lindsay6's picture
I think people really don't

I think people really don't understand this disease and your boyfriend is no exception. Has your boyfriend been supportive in other ways? I am not sure how much of his tactless comments are lack of knowledge or was he being mean?

When you are going through hell, keep going.

pixie27
pixie27's picture
I just say i've been there,

I just say i've been there, i've doen that! my ex was exactly the same!!! i told he abt my ED as i was going for treatment and soe day he was supportive in his own way...but other day he was just an asshole...he couldnt understand how hard it was...he was not happy abt my weight gain coz when we started dating i was super skinny and he wa so pround of me etc...he sort of expected me to cure myself overnight...it ended up that i was hidding from him my ED and lying abt it...sad...we broke up anyway...but i know hat you mean...maybe a good idea is to speak to him and give him some stuff to read abt ED, explain the process..he clearly has no idea with what he is dealing with...

pixie

Lotah
Lotah's picture
Oh, my lovely, what a

Oh, my lovely, what a horrible thing to have to experience. I am so sorry your boyfriend said what he did. Please don't let it set you back in your recovery.
It will be up to you to decide what happens with the relationship, but remember that you deserve respect and love and support and not abuse.
Have you showed him the e-book "Someone tells you they have bulimia"? The very first section is about initial reactions and how what matters is what happens afterwards (i.e. that a lot of initial reactions are not as supportive or helpful as they could be). MIght be an idea to give it to him to read if you think there is a future for you both.
Sending lots of love and strength xxx

Newhope
Newhope's picture
That's horrible. You need to

That's horrible. You need to surround yourself with people who love and accept you no matter how much you weigh, people who want you to be happy and healthy above everything else. It's so unfortunate that so many people just don't understand how hard this cycle is to break, and yet other addicts like alcoholics or drug addicted people are easier to understand. I find if I compare it to another addiction (like smoking, or drinking or drug use) then sometimes people take it more seriously.

***My body is only ever as beautiful and free as my mind ***

donutseeds
donutseeds's picture
I want to tell you dump this

I want to tell you dump this guy! You are a beautiful person inside and out, regardless of whether you have gained weight. Maybe he could go to a counseling session or two with you to get some insight on how bulimia recovery works, and that weight gain is something that might happen but you shouldn't be alarmed about. Hang in there, I am thinking of you:)

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